PRISONER EXPRESS

When we think of “breakdowns” any number of things can flash into our minds. The fact of that is almost too perfect of an opportunity from which I can express the importance of the particular area of breakdowns we either experience or witness, be it breakdowns in relationships, behavior, etc…I am writing of breakdowns in communication and the incredibly negative implications that spring from it on many fronts.

Not long ago I listened to two gentleman discussing Muhammad. The conversations gradually grew more heated until a full argument had erupted, rendering it impossible for any type of reasonable communication to occur. However, the actual breakdown had taken place from the outset. These two fellas were talking about two different people! One was talking about the sixth century founder of Islam and the other was talking about Joseph Poole, aka “Elijah Muhammad,” the long time leader and organizer of the Nation of Islam here in America. Men had lived over a millennium apart and on opposite sides of the world. For some reason the fellas involved in the conversation were unable to communicate to one another on a level to where such easy distinctions could be made.

Other examples I have picked up from other conversations and even from radio programs�"two of which I will share here. Hearing a Christian program interview a lady who had gone on a reality television show called “30 Days” where as an atheist she was to live with a Christian family for 30 days in full participation in their lifestyle. The host asked her about her experience and as the conversation moved on he asked the lady what she believed about Jesus? She responded with what she had been “told” in Sunday school as a child. Happily the host exclaimed “that is what I believe too!” Yet, the lady was never pressed to explain what she believed as an atheist and from that point the communication broke down. On another program a secular host had the previous day interviewed an atheistic evolution scientist and was now interviewing a Christian evolution scientist. Fascinatingly enough their views were remarkably similar. When the Christian was on, he was never asked to explain what a Christian was and the listeners were left without a clear understanding having been communicated.

I use these illustrations to point out that communication is the objective if we are the have meaningful conversation to where not only have we expressed ourselves, but have also grasped what it is others try to express to us. When communication is reduced to subjectivity we may understand what we want to communicate ourselves, but understanding goes no farther than ourselves. To keep communication from breaking down, to make it meaningful requires patience, a genuine interest in what you are trying to say along with an interest in what others have to offer. When we work to shore up our communication breakdowns, we tend to be struck with those little boosts that help us to keep our relationships, behaviors, social skills and many other areas from breaking down as well.

I have found that one of the most important aspects of communication is taking the time to briefly define what it is that you mean and ask others what it is that they mean, instead of assuming that we know. Going back to the Christian evolution scientist and listening closely to his views, as a Christian myself who is about to articulate what that means, I am convinced that the scientist’s definition would have been much different than my own and after getting past the semantics and connotation words we would have had to conclude that what he and I communicate as “Christian” are two very different things. Without defining our terms, even here where “Breakdowns” could mean a number of things, and same as on the programs�"no real communication has occurred. It is unfulfilling, meaningless, frustrating�"it is a breakdown…