PRISONER EXPRESS

Sitting here today 5/25/2007 in prison, I reacquaint myself with the knowledge that I have a serious problem which deserves immediate attention. There are a lot of you in prison, and even on the outside world who will have no problem relating to me. Most of you, all, or some of you, all face this similar problem and if you will, let's first acknowledge that it takes a lot of courage to even admit that you have a problem that's become way too much for you to handle. My problem is, maybe it's yours too, my problem seems to be that I can't say no to drugs. Even at the cost of my freedom to live in society. Coming back to prison has not been a deterrent for me, or else I would leave drugs alone. Even after coming back and forth to prison more than six different times. I'm still not sure whether or not I am going to be able to just say no to drugs. Failure to say no could result in my imprisonment once again. But what little deterrent that is. I've come to find that I am not afraid of coming back to prison all because I refuse to abstain from the use of drugs. Today, I have to courage to admit that I have a problem. There is something wrong with me. Why can't I feel good about myself without having to use drugs? Just what exactly is it that drugs go for me? Why do I have to use? Why can't I say no to drugs? Where is my courage when I need it? I've been incarcerated now for a total time of five years this time around, but altogether its been almost 17 years that I have invested, being incarcerated in the penitentiary. Today I have the courage to say that using drugs was my downfall. You would probably ask yourself, what's the harm in using drugs, how can using drugs get you in trouble? First of all I am on parole. There are conditions that are always placed on me, once that I'm released. There are rules and guidelines that I must abide by. Drugs are against the law, you know? Marijuana is not legal, crack cocaine is not legal. So it's illegal for me to use them. Are you relating to me so far? Are you faced with this similar problem? Do you think that you have the courage to say no to using drugs? Maybe you have some other weakness in your life that's standing in your way that's causing you much pain and frustration? You're really not sure whether or not you have the courage to just say no. Every time you say you're not going to do it, you end up doing it? You know that it's bad for you and causing you problems, but you don't have what it takes to abstain. How can something so bad be so good? Yes sure, I like to smoke crack cocaine, I like drinking beer, but it's against the law. It keeps getting me in trouble. It makes me do things I really don't want to do. It makes me irresponsible and it lowers my self esteem.

Today I have the courage to say that I am going to do everything I can to remain drug free. Today I'm mixing hope with my courage. I can't afford to come back here, but that's what's most definitely going to happen if I get out and sue again. August 8, 2007 is my release date and so I ask you all, my theme writing fans, to keep me in your prayers when you pray to your God. But only if you believe in Jesus as being God's son. I wonder what your present state of mind is right now, are you afraid of something? Maybe you are waiting on the outcome of some situation and you are afraid that it might not work out to your benefit? If that's the case, then be encouraged, be courageous. Go grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.