PRISONER EXPRESS

They have what they call Administrative Segregation. And it’s the worst form of isolation and solitude. You do not have a cellmate. If you don’t have a radio or some type of talent to occupy your mind, you very well could go crazy. I’ve seen people lose their minds. One day they are sane, the next day they just flip out. You are confined to a cell 23 hours a day, and you only come out for a five minute shower and one hour for recreation. A lot of people who do lose their minds, it has a lot to do with not interacting with other offenders, whether it’s by choice or by force. Say for instance you’re a Mexican mafia gang member. Yet nobody on your section is the same gang member and the other members you are housed around who are of a different gang are prohibited from talking to you. Some people who aren’t even in gangs do it, that was just an example to give you a somewhat general perspective. People in the free world are somewhat the same way.

Let me get back to my essay before I lose sight of my objective.

As I stated previously concerning Administrative Segregation. It’s pretty weird back there. People screaming and hollering all day. Plus you have people back there who constantly blow the electricity out to keep a bunch of stuff going because he’s miserable about something and goes out of his way to try and get into somebody’s head. The guards do the same thing. It’s all psychological. A mind game. If your mind is not fundamentally sound, then you will have a lot of people going to talk to the psych. It’s not just in Texas, it happens all over, some more than others. People deliberately catch cases in there. Why? Because they are able to function in a normal prison setting, because they have adapted themselves to being in isolation and in solitude. Now a days they put you in Administrative Segregation for anything. It varies on your length of stay. I mean if you’re assaulting the guards, then you’ll never get out. They call them Control Units for a reason.

As I’ve stated in my journal, I’d rather be alone. I am a loner. Why? Because all human relationships are inherently doomed whether by death or declining interest. Why make any type of commitment? I’m in an Ad. Seg. type of situation right now, as far as the set-up goes. I’m confined to my cell for 22 hours a day, not for disciplinary purposes. On most units today closed custody is confined to their cell and you have a cellie and to add insult to injury, the shower is in the cell. So if neither of you go to recreation, then you’re basically together 24/7. My cellmate is waiting to go to the psych unit. I want to get rid of him, yet by the same token I know I’ll get another cellie who may be worse than he.

There are some beneficial aspects of being in an isolation cell, like for instance, your trays are brought to you. Everything is brought to you. Get up and do the things that you want to, when you want to and not have to worry about waking your cellie up. True loneliness can be corrosive, eating away at the spirit. Everyone needs to share joy and glory and pain. Yet in adversity lies great opportunity, and always, of course, there is a bright side even when you aren’t able immediately to see it. Fortune favors the persistent.

The view from my cell and all others on this building which houses approximately 872 offenders, of which 209 have cellmates, is nonexistent. There are not any windows. When you do see windows it’s when you are leaving the building. This is an example of my view so you’ll be able to picture this (hopefully) in your mind. The tier (or run) is about 180 feet long. You have a 1 and 2 row. The odd side is 1 thru 33. The even side is 2 thru 34. If you are on the even side, say in 20 cell, then 15, 17, and 19 cell can see directly into your cell. If you go to the door, there’s nothing to see but the people across from you on either row. The cells do not have any windows. It’s just like being confined in a coffin. We have no natural sunlight coming into the building. We don’t know whether it’s daylight or dark unless you have a watch, radio, or keep up with the times that the shift changes.

Anyway, it’s the same exact situation day after day. The days are monotonous. I stay bored, but that, I guess, is the price you have to pay. The recreation yard is no different. Six people to a cage which is about 15’-18’ wide and 40’-60’ long. I don’t know the exact specifications but they look like dog kennels. There are six cages on that yard, which all together (with the other nine pods) make 60 recreation yards. Picture Gitmo Cuba and you’ll see our recreation yards. I don’t go out there period.

Yes, they put prisons out in the middle of nowhere Texas or other remote places. Again it’s purely psychological. Take me for instance: I was arrested in Houston, Texas. I came to this unit (Allred) January 6th, 1999. This unit is up by Wichita Falls, TX. Anyway I left this unit 10-31-01 and I got sent back to this same unit 11-6-06. I had been to no other units. I don’t have any relatives up this way and if anybody wanted to come see me from Houston that would be over a 700 mile drive for a four hour visit. With the way the economy is, that’s a very daunting task. They try to send you as far away from the place where you were convicted of your crime. There’s nothing up this way but a bunch of scrubland. I’m not far from Oklahoma, or at least that’s what I’ve been told. I’m not too concerned about my geographical location. Trust me, I won’t be trying to come back this way once I’m released.

These building specifications are built for a single purpose: control. They say when you act like an animal, then you get treated like one. Some people back here are here because they wouldn’t go to work of some other trivial matter, but to them it means nothing, to them it’s all the same. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. Sometimes, it actually gets exciting back here, as far as when someone builds a fire, floods the run or gets gassed and ran in on.