Other essays on this theme

Essay: "Sources of Strength"

I got my source of strength from a variety of things. From the quietest part of a day/night to where I'm able to think and reminisce about the good things and fun things I used to do when I was out. To look at pictures of my nieces and nephews while reading their letters or writing to them. To go back and sometimes read old letters from my ex or ex's sister. Even though this one might sound funny, but playing chess. How you may ask? I get strength from that because I'm able to see that I haven't lost my mind, especially since I'm in Seg. By being able to think or predict a move, I'm far from being crazy and I can function. Not taking any of those psych meds going around. Sometimes, I compare myself to those people and I see, I'm better off than most. I receive encouragement from my pen-pals and when I pray at night. Whether it's asking God to forgive me of my sins or thanking Him for seeing another day and letting my body work properly. When I hear people are going on home, or have gone home recently, it lets me know that my time is coming. And when that person, whoever he is that's supposed to go home before me goes, I know I'm next. But lately, I've been getting my source of strength from this special card that my ex's sister had shot to me when everything was going bad for me. I mean, my family stopped writing and my ex was trippin' and playing games. And she felt what I was telling her. And this is what she shot me by Suzanne Kleins:

"It's not easy to be where you are right now, full of questions and doubts. In fact, it's really hard. But maybe it's supposed to be. Maybe life perches us on these thresholds of not knowing which way to go to make us realize that there are no easy answers, to make us turn inward and hear that voice inside ourselves. I know that you have a strength and wisdom inside you that you may not be aware of right now. I have faith that you will know what to do, perhaps sooner than you think, because I believe in you with all my heart..."

When I had read that, it felt like I wasn't lost anymore and that everybody didn't abandon me. And a couple of weeks later, I did what I had to do. That poem gives so much inner strength to want to make a person strive for more and jump the hurdles that's in front of them.