PRISONER EXPRESS

It's hard for me to nail it down, but I think I once believed nearly everyone deserved a 2nd chance. It sounds nice, doesn't it? Make a mistake, screw up your life, no problem. Learn from it and take another shot at it. Yeah, as an ideal or concept it sounds great.

In reality though, it just doesn't happen that way. Not for most of us convicted of committing a crime anyway. Especially not for those convicted of a serious crime.

Why? Well, to be honest, there's no room for us anymore. Not with well over 6 billion people in this world. Consider that the majority of those 6 billion people are struggling just to get by and, literally, survive. How many of those people do you really think want to see a job, along with the food, shelter, clothing, and money that come with it, go to someone who has already shown they are incapable of living by societies' laws and standards? Very damn few, particularly when those people who aren't breaking the law can't get that job. Can you blame them for feeling that way? I can't.

Hell, the very fact that we are in prison is providing jobs to countless people, many of whom would otherwise be standing in an unemployment or welfare line. Do you think the government doesn't recognize this? Ever heard of the Prison Industrial Complex? How about Correctional Enterprises? Prisons and prisoners are big business. Lots of money to be made here, folks. Creates an instant demand for low skilled employees in any state. Guaranteed to last as long as there is crime and people who commit it. Not to mention the skilled labor required to build and maintain the prisons. Or the professional people needed to staff them such as doctors, dentists, nurses, accountants, and various administrators. It even extends outside of the prison. Boosting local and state economies, because someone needs to provide support services and products like food and office supplies.

Sure, let's "get tough on crime." Not only does it make sense from moral and economical stand points, it's good politics too. Why, ladies and gentlemen, that fine local official running for office is going to bring JOBS to your community. Yes sir! And by building that local prison he'll be showing you just how "tough on crime" he can be, by God!

He just won't mention the kickbacks he'll get from all the contracts with his buddies to build and supply it. No need for anyone to know about that. Or the fact that he can increase the number of people in his backwoods town in the national census for the purpose of increasing the Federal funding power of rural white areas while decreasing the funding of predominantly black urban areas. After all, he does know that blacks make up the majority of America's over 2 million prisoners. This form of racism and xenophobia is being perpetrated in nearly every state in this country.

Do you really think, with all the money to be made on a personal level, that those people in a position to change the way penal systems operate are going to design or run a humane and rehabilitative system? What, and let all that money disappear? You're kidding, right?

And let's talk about rehabilitation for a minute. Here in North Carolina, it is almost nonexistent. They would rather keep you uneducated and without productive real-world skills so you will be sure to come back. What better way to validate the need for more prisons than to maintain a high recidivism rate? After all, we all know criminals are no good and never will be. So why waste the money to educate them? Lock them up for as long as you can, keep 'em stupid, let 'em out and they'll come right on back or get killed trying to commit another crime.

It's all pretty simple really. And while they are at it, they throw a few more stumbling blocks in that ex-con's way. Like not letting him receive welfare benefits or obtain public housing and student loans.

I've got to be objective here and say that, no, it's not all the system's fault either. A large part of the blame for failing that 2nd chance some people get rests on the ex-con's shoulders' too. Time and again I've talked to guys getting ready to make parole or max-out their sentence and have heard the same story. I'll ask, "What are you going to do when you get out?" The answer is usually pretty vague, or so fanciful and unrealistic it's not funny.

The man just spent 5, 10, 15, 20 years of his life in prison. Ask him if he got his G.E.D.? "No." Take any college courses? "No." Take any classes in masonry, carpentry, small engine repair or cook school? "No." Why not? "Man, I don't need none of that shit. I'm gonna get me a job." Doing what? "I don't know, I'll find something."

Yeah, what he will find is a house to break into, a car to steal or a gas station to rob. Why? Because that's all he knows or ever learned in prison. Came in stupid, went out stupid. He'll either be back in prison within a year or two, or else get killed out there and die stupid.

I've heard it said that prisons are a breeding ground for criminals. Truer words were never spoken. If you weren't criminally minded before you came to prison, you will be if you spend any amount of time in here. You'll learn all kinds of things. The easiest banks, stores, houses, or people to rob. Which cars are the easiest and best to steal. How to defeat alarm systems. Who to contact for a good drug supply. What you need to do to get away with rape and/or murder. All of these things from those who have failed doing them. Anyone who's been caught and imprisoned has failed. Yet these failures are in here perpetuating the stupidity because they are just that, stupid! All the successful criminals are still out there operating.

Oh yeah. You'll also learn how to hate. Hate the government. Hate the system. Hate the police. Hate the man. Hate crackers, burheads, spics, slopes, kikes, ragheads, broads, queers, injuns, bible thumpers, sand niggers, fags, wetbacks, chinks, Jesus freaks, bitches, honkies, niggers, and everyone else, including yourself. One or more of them are out to get you or against you anyway. You can't ever be successful so you might as well fight all of them with as much hate as you can find in yourself. Who cares if you know you can't win? Damned if you'll lost by giving in.

Better yourself? Go to school? Live a straight life? WORK for money? Screw all that! It's easier to hate and blame others for your failure. Besides, only pussies and squares got to school and shit. You're too cool, too hard, too much of a thug for that. Or you don't need it because you've got a "plan."

Yeah, back in the next open cell or in the county morgue is where he's gonna be. But hey, like I said, nobody out there wants him out there taking their job anyway. I can't really blame the man for wanting the fast money with all the extras. He might as well try to get it any way he can, I guess. There sure isn't anybody going to sit down with him and give him any encouragement to try to do better. Which one of you is going to show him how to make $10,000 on a weekend legally? I sure couldn't. Not even $1,000 a week with his criminal record, no education, and no self-esteem. Be for real!

Sure, you do have a few self-motivated individuals in here that buck the norm. They take advantage of all the educational programs they can. They set realistic goals and plan for a law-abiding, productive future. Many make use of the post-release programs and support groups out there to give themselves a little extra help out of the gate. Or they have family that is willing to give them a shot at a 2nd chance. Of those few, many are successful at creating as normal a life as is possible for an ex-con. My hat is off to them. They deserve much praise and respect. It takes a very strong willed person to rise above the sludge and slime in here. I wish them every success and happiness in their lives out there. They are the exception.

I'm going to switch gears again and look at something that hits a little closer to home for me. I've primarily been talking about those men and women with prison sentences that allow for the possibility of parole or release.

Now I ask; what about those of us who know we'll never see parole or release? I've got 4 life sentences plus 35 years. I'll be dust before I ever even reach my parole eligibility date. 2nd chances? Uh... yeah ...sure!

I guess you understand a little better now where my outlook on this is coming from. I know I'll never get that 2nd chance, but I still long for it in all its idealistic glory. I even convince myself that one day I'll get that 2nd chance at a life in the free-world.

I don't think I'm much different than most in situations like mine. I dream. I hope. All worthless as far as reality goes, but it provides a modicum of sanity to an insane existence.

I recently read a passage that I thought said it best in a book titled, Gorky Park. (I forgot the author's name)

"It doesn't matter how ridiculous a lie is if the lie is your only chance of escape. It doesn't matter how obvious the truth is If the truth is that you'll never escape." It stunned me with the simplicity in which the author expressed such a poignant concept. So, you see? Some of us won't ever get a 2nd chance, but it doesn't keep us from dreaming. I won't let it stop me from striving to better myself while I'm in here. OR prevent me from possibly helping someone else to do so. Maybe that's the reason I'm still alive after being shot several times and narrowly avoiding the death penalty? Yes, I even have to hope that there is a reason for my very existence anymore. 2nd chances? I wish!