PRISONER EXPRESS

Winners and loser, WOW there's a topic for you!!! I read this one in the newsletter and just got to thinking. Thinking very hard at that. Do we really ever win, or is there ever any losing??? Are we on a path to one great big win or one big loss (Death being either or...)

Love is what I thought of immediately. Love and loss of love. For some, finding it, and relief from it, are wins and losses. So, here's my little story:

Back in the day, you know the ones, all we wanted was a lay! My days were just like your, but mine are here for you to see. I was 16 when I decided to move out of my mother's house and in with my father, what I thought was winning, turned out to be one of the biggest losses of my life. But, at the same time, found some of the biggest wins to date in my life, as well. I moved in with my Ol' Man. Being raised in a middle-upper home with my Mom, being placed in near poverty was the biggest wake up call in my life. See, my father was an alcoholic and I knew that, but I didn't know what it REALLY was. I was going to the wrong school, for my upbringing and skin color. So, I dropped out just as quick as I got in (loser). I then got a job at a gas station making money, my own money (winner). The Ol' Man finally got off my back to do so (winner).

I went to visit my friend in North Carolina for 2 weeks (I grew up in Georgia by the way) and then decided that I wanted to move in with him and his brother because they had their own apartment (winner). I found more work and then we moved into the city of Charlotte (winner again).

Pretty soon my best friend started telling me about this chick that used to live with him when he was in school, "Dude, you gotta meet her. She has the biggest hoots I've ever seen with my own two eyes!!" Every time he told me this, I told him to get her over because I wanted to meet her. So one day he called her to come over, but she said she was packing to go meet up with her boyfriend for 2 weeks. Well, he says to her, "Screw that! Why don't you come stay with us for 2 weeks instead?" She says okay (winner because I get to see the chick with the "biguns")!

The girl comes over and ends up living there too. We HATE each other from first sight (loser) and I still had to live with the witch! Well, this went on for about a month and one night when I was getting ready to go out to get something to eat, she cut me off at the door and asked if she could tag along. I replied, "What the hell for? We can't even stand to be in the same room, much less the same truck!" And out of nowhere she grabbed me by the head and started kissing me (winner). We left the house, but we didn't make it to the food joint, instead we ended up at a park and made out. When we got home, we headed for the bedroom and she said, "We can't do this unless we are together." So, I said, "Hey, you're my girlfriend!" And, we got it on (winner)! The next day, we fought and broke up (loser)... but two days after that, we made amends and I realized the glory of make-up sex (winner)! I kept her that time.

Afterwards, my Ol' Man asked me to move back in so I could help him move. I told him that I had a girlfriend and he said it was alright for her to stay with us too (winner). My girl and my father ended up hating one another (loser). In order to find peace, I took her to live somewhere else. I just couldn't have them both without having to take both of their crap about each other. They really hated each other.

Anyhow, we started to bounce around from place to place for a couple of months and I landed a job with a company that I tried to work for before, but never did. It was a carpet cleaning company- the same one that my brother used to work for (winner). Well, my Ol' Man invited me and my girlfriend over for dinner one Sunday and we went. Once there, he introduced my girlfriend and I to his new female friend. And though he had never before referred to my girlfriend with any name reflecting endearment other than "My son's friend," he introduced her that night by saying, "This is my youngest son, David and his fiancée" (winner). My girl actually started to cry when she heard this because he had FINALLY accepted the fact that she was part of the family (winner)!

Two days later, on Tuesday, my Ol' Man called and said we could move back in and there were no hard feelings (winner). We were supposed to move back in that Thursday when I got off work, but I got a call when I was out on site at work. When I got back to the shop they told me, "Your father passed away" (loser).

Afterwards, we ended up moving to South Carolina to work at a franchise of the company I worked for (winner). Once there, my manager decided to hop on a bus and go to his ex- spouse who was living in Texas and I was responsible for breaking the news to the president of the company (loser). He ended up selling the franchise to the owner of another store, but I was kept as a worker and made a manger. The new owner of the company ended up being more of a "daddy" to me than my real father ever was (winner). After falling out at work, I moved back to Georgia, but I still kept in touch with the boss. I consider him, his wife and daughter as my family.

My girl was with me through all of that crap, but not for too long (loser). We remained friends for awhile. Though we couldn't make it work in the long run for us, I heard that she got married and had a child (she was always told she could not conceive). So, she's happy (and that still makes me a winner). Eventually she got a divorce, but not before she had a second child (loser). Now, she writes me, telling me that she doesn't know why we ever parted and we are the best of friends. Unfortunately, her grandfather passed away, but he left her a very large sum of inheritance and she owns a half-million dollar house on the beach outside of Charleston, S.C. that she can't wait for me to move into as soon as I get out. (winner). Now, you see how I have won and lost and how even with the loser parts, somehow, they have made the winner parts so much bigger and better.

Also, I relived each of these moments and as I share them with you. I sit here and think, "Is it going to be like it was before?" No, I don't think it will. I haved shared with you and I have lost many tears thinking of what might have. Though I have lost these years inside, I'll get out and I'll WIN!!!