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Other essays on this theme
Essay: "Childhood"by Bruce Large In the middle of the night when it's most quiet and I awaken from a dream, sometimes I hear men scream. It makes me wonder what would cause a man to do such a thing. Then again there are times where the screams are my own. I have found that when it's most quiet and I feel alone, it's a rare moment that gives the chance to see who I really am that day, at that moment.
I've been in segregation for sixty seven months now (ad-seg and shu) and sometimes I lose touch with how much time has passed me by. Reality seems so distant, the world outside a whole other planet. It's like I'm caught in a vortex of time-space dimension, watching everything whirl around totally out of my grasp, totally out of my control. In the middle of the night I often ask myself, "Am I alive, is this just another dream?" Then I realize that I'm still entombed, that we all have our stigma and this is the one I must now bear. After all who would dream a dream like this one and want it to be true? An amazing thing is that in the middle of the night sometimes I feel most free, because where my mind takes me is beyond these walls to places I've never seen or been, to places that want to be. That is freedom; to be where I am not. Bruce Large |