PRISONER EXPRESS

Compassion- pity inclining one to be merciful...Let's just marinate on this word and definition for a few moments! My one and true goal in life that I want to accomplish is to be a counselor. My main directive will be towards troubled kids and teens. The other day I was reading a novel titled "Tell No One" by Harlan Coben, and the conclusion was the most outstanding act of compassion I've read in my life...To me this was the ultimate sacrifice. For some reason, I have a very addictive nature and when I get involved with someone or something, I have a tendency to cling to that person or thing. Just one drink of alcohol had me addicted, I look back and I have to say, if any of you are parents, DO NOT spin your kids around, put them on swings, let them ride certain rides at amusement parks, or anything that will bring euphoria from this off-balance feeling--because the first time I was allowed to drink a beer or two, the feeling I felt was similar to when my uncles and older kids would spin us babies around, and the laughter from them and other observers let us know that the missteps, feeling, and confusion was alright, that it was fun, and totally acceptable.

So when we are allowed as adolescents to drink alcohol, and this feeling returns without the extreme activity of others, it's alright, it's fun, it's totally acceptable, at least this implication from the subconscious to the conscience says so, Boom, Ergo addiction is born, and the excessive amounts is automatically engaged over time. And now, these days I see addictions of numerous types of substances. And in all actuality, I do believe this is from the 'rocking swing' used to baby sit us as babies, held and shaken at the same time, spun around for fun, allowed to ride amusement parks, watching certain things on TV or at movies before we are capable of distinguishing reality from make believe, playing certain games before this full development of the mind also. And the activity of being involved with certain drinks, drugs, or spontaneous behaviors, I honestly believe is from the earliest stages of all I've described--we love that misstep, feeling and confusion, because it's been taught it is alright, that it is fun and totally acceptable.

So, to be incarcerated and still have to teach myself lessons in life, because it's not anyone stepping up and realizing certain things; 'all the medicines, psychologists, and shrinks with several college degrees, and all these humanitarians and anthropologists with no one observing, studying or at least making known these overlooked conclusions.'

It's just discouraging to be alive sometimes, but I honestly want everyone to realize I am not making any excuses for my stupidity, or lack of respect for other's property, or laziness for not working to earn my own things, but Do, please Do, let me have your 'compassion.' I've come a long way. 14 years in prison day for day and now after all the things I've read, studied and learned, I honestly feel that my testimony to the younger generation will allow for my message to be heard, and I feel for the next ones to rule over us, so spread the message, and get back to the old days and ways and show one another this unconditional infinity: compassion.