PRISONER EXPRESS

Even early on, fitting in is pressed on us in many various and subtle ways. As infants, while developing hand eye coordination, we learned a square block didn't fit in the round hole. We were rewarded with loving and attention. In preschool, we're taught to color inside the lines. The reward: a gold star and a place on the bulletin board or the refrigerator. We share our toys or suffer a time-out (removal from our peers). No different than Pavlov's Dog, really. In fact, our entire childhood is about Classical Conditioning. Not till middle or high school does fitting in become a conscious issue or goal.

It's at this point that the game changes. The rules are bent or shredded by just a handful. The consequences are a far cry from a mere time-out. Social ostracism should be recognized as cruel and unusual punishment. At this age, kids become aware of socio-economics, status, and the perception of privilege.

This continues through high school. A standout in sports or academia can often help skirt the status quo criteria of label, language and behavior. Psychologists and sociologists often refer to social hierarchy as an important arena for social interaction and maturation.

There are many flaws to the commonly subscribed-to rank and file. Teasing harassment and blatant bullying perpetuates passive aggression, low self-esteem and depression in the outsiders.

Some find comfort in smaller, less-demanding cliques, others, a very few, use the mistreatment as incentive to excel for opportunities of retribution in adulthood. Some find comfort and acceptance in a circle that suppresses the emotional trauma in substance abuse.

In college or our twenties, individualism becomes semi en-vogue. Oftentimes, that acceptance or ability to fit in is squandered in addiction. This road inevitably leads to failure, madness, depression, death, or prison. Upon entering the world of drug dealing and felonious activities to support a habit or in search of instant gratification, prison represents itself as the next arena. Where you have to find a way to fit in there, too, often, the "individual" is seen as easy prey for the group. The ramifications of being a loner can be costly all they way around.

"Fitting In" in prison can be easy with the mask of a racist and a willingness to hurt other people warranted or not. While wearing this mask, you stand to lose part of your soul. But you'll be down for yours and your race, but it is in the mirror you are an unrecognizable shell who sold out to fit in and survive. The philosopher Steiner said, "a handful of might is far greater than a whole bag of right." While this can be a safe modus operandi, the cost is greater than the prize of fitting in, being feared, and commanding respect. Parole doesn't end the cycle. Now one must fit in against even greater odds. With serious consideration to this cycle, one becomes aware how "Fitting In" is as much an oxymoron as jumbo shrimp or an honest politician. Not to mention an RSVP to psychosis.