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Essay: "Gratitude"

by Dave Gordon
One of the greatest gifts I have ever received was something that I had tried my hardest to avoid. This gift was a 45 year prison sentence. It wasn't until after I had received this gift, and enjoyed it for awhile, that I had suddenly realized what an earnest debt of gratitude I owed to the state of Texas.

Prison provided me with so many things that I was working my butt off for, but for free. I always wanted to live out in the country in a big house. Security was also very important to me. Now I live way out in the country in a giant house that not only has a tall fence surrounding it, it also has a couple hundred armed guards to keep all of those unworthies out.

On top of these deluxe accommodations, we have a laundry service and a wonderful dining hall. My mail is brought to me while I lay in my bed and none of this costs me a single penny. In fact, I no longer have to pay for anything! Including taxes!

But naturally, someone has to pay for all this. Someone has to be paying my light, water, and gas bills. Oh, how I would love to give them a giant hug!

I figured out how much my incarceration costs. I included my free medical bills and all of the free legal costs of my conviction and my nine year appeal. Wow! Was I surprised to see that some wonderful folks called taxpayers were willing to pay nearly 4 million dollars...all for little ole me!

THANK YOU!