Other essays on this theme

Essay: "Gratitude"

by A. Michael Pace
This is a letter of gratitude to all those whose involvement have helped to clean up TDCJ by removing all the Lesbo and Heterosexual porn trash.

In what has been my first decade, 'in the system' I have realized that (Porn) is Satan's own curse on what could be the perfect self-rehabilitation opportunity of a young man's life. It has always been my opinion that pornography - especially in prison - is just a tool used by men to hold onto their wrongful thinking; to hold onto the man they thought they were supposed to be. The young men were using these, 'Jack Books' to hold onto old male characteristics. They use it like a shield against a more open minded way, which allows change - change that will open life up for them. But more basically it will make their stay in prison easier and more educational, even intimately educational. The criminal will be utterly changed and become a more sensitive man, this will be the final result when he emerges.

But these smut filled pictorials have held back the tide of change. Older men may never change, however, younger men only need to be shown an open-minded, barrier-free way, without the moral obstacles and sexual crutches. Many times I've seen a young man separate himself at a time of weakness, a time when he might be open to words of encouragement from someone like myself, who wishes only to guide him down the path of change, change that he will need for a less stressful stay in prison, as well as a new way of life.

Yet they would hide themselves away with a dirty book. We all knew what they were doing with a towel on their door and a borrowed, musky smelling slut rag they got from some so called buddy or neighbor, not really a friend as I would be. They could not even talk seriously about it. All this attempted secrecy smelled of sin - sin done in secret. "What shall be done in secret will be shouted from the roof top and brought out into the open."

For men in prison there is one major issue that must be realized and dealt with. In the TDCJ of today there are as many or more female guards as male guards. Is has been thought for ages that men are stronger than women. This has apparently not changed - not even in the minds of women - because men are not given the protection from female guards as women are from male guards, as is evident by the female officer working - appointed by Administration to work - the men clothing necessity and shower area, and other obviously immoral set-ups. A man must never react or even feel sexual stimulation while standing nude in front of these female officers, even though they might talk openly about him.

To react would only leave him open to being ridiculed; he would be humiliated and belittled in front of the others. This tends to diminish his self-confidence, which in many cases is the reason they became criminals in the first place. At this point any reaction - studding up, or going off - is just going to make it worse on him. The morals taught to him as a child and the ethics of the world must go.

The boy/girl feelings must go. Even the natural respect of a young man has for women must go. She is a cow or a fence post or an alien being, a guard, and not worthy of his desire. He is a statue of a hero, and they merely workers. Their alien-ness can not have an effect desirous or otherwise, though they look upon his naked body. They may be his captor and they may show desire toward him, but his mind set must be that they are too lowly for him to desire in anyway or even respect enough that he would feel it necessary to hide his naked body. His own self-worth depends on this, and yet these slutty magazines only hold the young inmate back.

Well, a year has passed and to tell the truth, I never dreamt it would make as great a difference as it has. Even what I have seen happening with my own eyes, I didn't believe. I had to touch it, so to speak.

You know, a year ago they (the young inmates) were too proud and shy. The more timid of the younger ones, even tried showering in their boxers. Now suddenly, they giggle when an older man watches them in the shower. The homeliest of them have such cute little butts and their little dicks respond to a gentle touch. Oh, they blush at first when you help him rinse the soap from his sweet cheeks and make sure his tender parts are clean. They nearly bust a nut right in your hands.

After a few months away from those, "shameless paper prostitutes" you can start talking dirty to him in little whispers. I've taken a few under my wing to help them learn a new way, Rehabilitation and lifestyle adjustments. Catamites and twinkies, there are a lot of names, but I like to call them my boys. It's so...stimulating to watch two of them play with each other. They are all so cute, especially in the little panties and summer dress sets we make for them out of a couple of old T shirts.

I enjoyed the timid pair who visited me in my cell for Christmas. But my favorite ones are the ones who do a little exhibition, who go without their panties and flash their little bare butts. As they get hungrier for a little attention and affection, most will go much farther, much faster, all on their own. Like Bobby putting on a little show until we had a mind to give him the 12 man ass pounding he wanted for his birthday, or Joey who likes to call it a protein shot.

You might want to think about the issue of condoms. It would be a shame for a bunch of youngsters to start picking up STD's. That would shoot the price of prison up there, and aren't you paying enough already. But at least we got those porn books out of here. Maybe you could see about getting some kind of lube on commissary and some sex toys, I mean rehabilitation devices.

They've come a long way in just one year. Make sure they get that two or three year set off and we can turn out some nice little queens. You'll never have to worry about them touching those filthy books again. There are plenty of us who are going to be here awhile, and we will be glad to give the younger ones a hand or whatever. I like them...well as long as they still have a smooth, clean, virgin-ish ass and other parts virgin to a man.

Now don't y'all actually do anything to keep them youngsters out of here and thanks again for helping create the perfect homo-society.