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Essay: "Love"

Love perplexes even the smartest man or woman. No one can claim mastery in the realm of love. As a matter of fact most people spend a good amount of their life trying to find it, and once they do, they must figure it out. Everyone has been love's fool at some time or another. Unfortunately, I have been love's fool on many occasions, but there have also been times I have taken the gift of love for granted. Some say you follow in the footsteps of your parents, and their actions directly affect your adult life. If this is the case then I was doomed from the start. My father was not around much, but the times I spent with him all I witnessed was womanizing. He would also have me at other people's houses so he would not have to drag me along on his dates. Not to mention I was conceived out of wedlock. My mother, although married to a military man, was always sneaking around behind his back. The worst part is she would confide in me to hold her secrets. My mother and step-father always argued and fought, which always spilled over to me. After years of physical and verbal abuse, my version of love was very obscure. So, of course, I was never serious with anyone girl. I was never able to trust anyone with my heart. Well, I ended up getting married to a really nice Asian/Hawaiian girl. She also had a few hang-ups she brought to our relationship. To make a long story short, I cheated numerous times and even got caught once, which led to our divorce. I was deeply depressed, because although I was unfaithful I really cared about her. The fact was how could I love someone if I didn't love myself? I overdosed November of 1999, but by the will of my Goddess I am alive. Now I am awaiting release next year so I can start my life over. I am looking for a spiritual woman who I can be myself with; although I have made many changes for the better I still have faults. Right now, I look forward to meeting and sharing my newfound love with my daughter, who was born while I have been incarcerated. She is the #1 love of my life right now. For all the lovers out there, may cupid's arrow strike true and Venus Goddess of love guides you.