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Essay: "Neighbors"

by Vonderic Barlow
It's 8 in the morning and I am drinking my first cup of coffee while listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show on my headphones. This early in the morning I always need my daily dose of staying in touch with the free world. Actually, this is only one of several ways that I've chosen to help in dealing with my reality. But it is much harder for others in this similar situation to maintain their sanity.

There's a knock on my cell wall. I hear the knock but to make sure it's not next door or upstairs I wait several seconds for another knock. Then I hear it again.

"Vonderick, you up over there?" my neighbor asks. Ever since my neighbor moved in next door about four weeks ago we talk off and on through the day. It is usually conversations about where he has been in life and different things that he has experienced: from women to drugs to you-name-it. I can sense this is his way of dealing with isolation so we just kick it. However, here recently, the discussions are more and more on his problems and asking for advice.

"Yeah Rob, I am up man. What's up?" I respond. "Ah, I was just hollering at you. Hay what cha' over there doing?" He asks.
"Just sitting over here listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. What are you up to over there?" I inquire.
I know something's on his mind but he doesn't want to just come right out and say it. I can empathize with him because in prison, especially in As Seg, that's something a man is hesitant on doing: talking about his problems. It's frowned upon. There's an established belief that only the strong survives... so in ad Seg that survival is mental. Rob starts talking again, "Vonderic, man, this shit don't feel right. Just stuck in this cell all day, I swear man; it feels like these SSI's and CO's be messing with me. Do you ever feel like that man? Like these fools are picking on you and shit?"

I have to make sure I answer this question correctly. I've seen a few other prisoners going through the same thing. And I've never liked the out-come. I know Rob is really asking me how to handle the situation. Honestly, though, I doubt anyone is picking. This is one of the stages when someone's experiencing sensory deprivation. Thinking before I speak, and selecting the correct tone of voice I slowly advice Rob, "A few times a while back man, I could've sworn this one officer was picking at me. I felt like he was doing the shit because I was in Seg and he knew I couldn't get to him. So one day while I was being escorted to the shower you know what I did Rob?"
"What did you do?" he asks.
"While I was walking man, I asked him straight up. I say 'excuse me, officer; let me ask you a question'. So he tells me yeah, so I ask him Rob, 'have I ever done anything to you to irritate you?' He gives me this crazy look Rob, but he tells me naw, that I ain't never done anything to him. Then he asks me why I asked. So I tell him because a few times that he's worked the cell block I get the feeling that he was intentionally harassing me. You know what he says to me?"
"Naw, what he said man?" is what Rob asks.
"He says that he was glad I had come to him like a man instead of doing something stupid. He said that he only comes to work to do his 12 hours and go back home. After that Rob, I've never had the feeling that he was picking at me."
"Just like that" Rob states.
"Yeah man, just like that. Anytime you feel like you're having a problem with one of them, just talk to them straight up."

Rob isn't his real name, nor is he my neighbor anymore. He was released. SSI stands for Support Service Inmate; these are prisoners that are assigned to doing the sweeping and mopping in As Seg. CO stands for Correctional Officer.