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Other essays on this theme
Essay: "Overcoming Depression"by Greg Sparks There is no overcoming depression. One merely deals with it, negotiates a temporary truce with it. You capture it and lock it away for awhile until it finds an escape, gets loose, then ravages you and those around you until it is recaptured. Depression ebbs and flows like the tide. It's like herpes that never goes away, only flares up from time to time. One simply waits out each episode like waiting out any other system (such as a hurricane or tornado). Granted, there are medications to treat depression, but it's still there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. There is no overcoming depression. Depression is incurable.
So that we're all on the same page, let me state that I am not referring to the depression of "why didn't I get that promotion" or "why didn't I get any mail this week?" I'm talking about the depression that has you curled up crying in the back of the closet because that little voice inside your mind won't stop reminding you what a worthless idiot you are. I'm referring to the kind of depression that keeps you in bed for four days because there's really no reason to get up: my friends have more important things to do, I'm not that important at work so no one'll care if I take a couple days off, nothing good is on TV, I've read all my books, no need to shower since I'm not going anywhere, and I don't need to eat because I'll only get fat, well fatter, and God I'm so bored but there is nothing I want to do…I'm speaking on the kind of depression that has got you so sucked in and surrounded and constricted and ground down and tired of fighting that you finally sit down, write out a loving and apologetic letter to your wife and kids, get the .38 you keep in case of burglars out of the nightstand by your bed, stick the barrel in your mouth and take the only way you see available of finding release. There is no overcoming depression. Depression is incurable. But, as I mentioned earlier, it can be dealt with. What I've learned to do is study the depression within myself. I've figured out some of the triggers. I know when it's about to hit. Then, when it does have me in its grips, I don't let it stop me. I don't fight. I just keep on doing what I've been doing. I'll read even if I don't feel like it. I'll still go to show when I'm not hungry; I'll still play Scrabble when I want no human contact whatsoever. Also, by exploring my depression, little by little, it loses its power over me. Okay, I shouldn't have done that in the past, but having done it doesn't make me an idiot. Yeah, I probably could have handled the situation differently, so instead of feeling guilt, I'm going to treat it as a lesson learned. Well, instead of thinking of a gazillion reasons not to get up today, I'm going to focus on this one to get up. See, I don't look to ever be cured or freed from depression; I'm just not going to let it stop me. There is no overcoming depression. Depression is incurable. But, I will endure. that's all so cheer the fuck up! |