Other essays on this theme

Essay: "Personal Boundaries"

by Hill,cGerry
Taught or Results from Experiences

Well, here is a question, are personal boundaries taught or are they the result of life's experiences? While going through childhood we observe and recognize our parents' personal boundaries as our teachers, coaches and so on. This is something unique all and of itself because while we push the adults in our life's boundaries, we first learn something about that person, which makes them different at the same time it effects the child's immediate emotions and future. Some might say how that could be. First, people have a different response when someone crosses over their personal boundaries. When this happens, the response either comes negative or positive while demonstrating their displeasure. As a young child if it is negative, it places images in the conscious and subconscious of the child of this particular incident. The child grows up with feelings of inferiority and of self imposed boundaries not to cross any one else's. It puts limitations on a person to think outside the box of the next individual's ideas.

Let's say the adult is positive when showing their displeasure, then the child learns from this first to become their own person that it is alright to think different but to respect the next person's boundaries when told. Next, they learn how to show respect even while feeling disrespected. When the child grows to adulthood they are able to then set their own personal boundaries by having been given the freedom to explore and pass this lesson on.

The production of personal boundaries set the character and individuality to each person. It could very well be the key to success or failure in life. So the answer is, they are taught but with enough opportunity to choose from life's experience. Are my personal boundaries set in stone? No. They evolve because I never stop learning, but the foundation was set at childhood from the experiences of my parents, teachers, and coaches.

-Gerry Hill