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Essay: "Sources of Strength"

by Michael McKinney
This month's topic on "Sources of Strength" is a real strong topic to write on. Cause throughout all my years of struggling, I have counted on many sources of strength to help keep me going through my times of stumbling. Through my times of adversity, through my times of hardship, through my times of suffering. And these sources of strength have really helped me along the way. Now I have been locked up for some many years. Almost 19 years, and at some point of my incarceration I have had many thoughts of giving up. And wanting to just go off the deep end and make someone take me out of my misery. But my will to live was much stronger than these thoughts. My inner strength that's within me just would not let me give up. And all the difficult times that I have been through tend to always make me reach out to my sources of strength. Cause my strength alone is not always enough strength to help me along the way. In this one man cell I have been living in, my mother Marilyn, my brother Sedrick and my sister Tiffany have been a great source of strength to me. Through all the loving and uplifting letters they have sent to me over the years and they were by my side and praying for me when I was struggling with all the weaker areas of myself. And when I was able to just read a letter from my brother Sedrick or a letter from my mother Marilyn or a letter from my sister Tiffany that gave me more strength than ever. Cause in my brother's letters he is always encouraging me to keep my eyes on the lord and to seek him with all my heart, mind and soul. And he is always speaking of how much he loves his big brother Michael and how he is going to show me when he gets out of Federal prison. And when my brother Sedrick tells me in his letters how he wants to become a youth counselor when he gets out because he truly wants to hug the kids and that gives me strength when I hear strong words like that coming from someone I really love. And in other letters my baby brother speaks of when he gets out of prison, how his body and flesh might be free, but his mind heart and soul will always be in prison, because he will never forget how the system has given so many black men life sentences unjustly. And how the cause must be advocated. All of my brother's words in each one of his letters that he writes to me provides strength to help carry on. And home girl LayTecia Flowers a.k.a Lay Lay, who is a very close friend to me and my family. And Lay Lay and my brother Sedrick have been good friends for a long number of years. And Lay Lay turned her life over to the Lord over 15 years ago. And she really has great faith in the Lord and he has been working in her life each and every day. And Lay Lay has become a great source of strength to me through the letters she sends me, which she does not write very often. But when Lay Lay does find time to write, her letters give me so much strength. Her words are very strong and she speaks to me like this: I pray that you continue to renew the spirit of your mind and make wise and right decisions because you don't have to be in prison for the rest of your life. Michael, start using your intelligence by acting like a civilized young man by staying out of trouble and focus your energy on the law library. And getting up out of there. You just got to have faith in that it can happen. The bible says faith without action actions or works is dead. And your work is to apply yourself Michael, through studying the law, filing, pleading your case. Michael, you be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. My prayers for you is freedom in the spirit, mind and also in the natural. And Lay Lay has been one of my sources of strength as I struggle in prison to make it from one hour to another. And being that I am mixed in with Cherokee Indians, reading and studying about a great Chief named Geronimo, another source of strength to me was to learn about how Geronimo has a strong fighting spirit in him to stand up for the rights of his people. And Geronimo was freed from prison in 1894. And following Geronimo's release from prison he become a Christian and joined a local church where he taught Sunday school. Believing that in a wise way it is good to go to church, and that associating with Christians would improve his character. And Mohandas K. Gandhi was another source of my strength. Cause every time I study or read any of Gandhi's writing, it was always an inspiration to me that gave me much inner strength, when he speaks about god, how god is an unseen power residing within us. There are many powers lying hidden within us and we discover them by constant struggle. Even so, we may find this supreme power if we make diligent search with the fixed determination to find hi. And reading the bible, I have found sources of strength reading about some of the best people who ever lived. In the bible I have learn about Moses and his meekness. I learn about Abraham and his faith. I learn about Isaiah and his fiery indignation towards evil-doing. I learn about Paul and his enthusiasm. And these people that I learn about in the bible have been sources of strength for me as I struggle with prison life. And my big brother Reginald Jacobs, aka York York, was also a source of strength to me though his letters and words. No matter what Mike, never stop praying and read these chapters out loud so the spirit of the Lord can hear you. Psalms 34, 23, 37, 66, 143." But overall God was my biggest source of strength, cause he was always with me.