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Essay: "Sources of Strength"

by Keith Reese
I Am Strength

This day has taken a long time to reach. It seems I have traveled infinity and interminable tribulations to arrive at the age of reason, independence and self-sustaining strength. With everything taken into account, I still plod onward in my life's valleys, hoping to reach a peak, if only for a while. One thing is certain, my struggles and battles are mine alone. Words of hope and tenacity arise from within me. My strength comes from no other human being. In my present state of me plus ultra intelligence, I now trust my own mental faculties, which guide me through the many labyrinths of tumult and suffering. In retrospect of a horrible childhood, I have determined not to trust men or their gods. Once I called on both without reprieve. And now, I turn my back on men and their gods. I have no need for either, in my ultra mental state. Being fully composmentis, it is my synopsis, that men and their gods have betrayed me. Alas! Thereunto, I hold loathe for their false philosophies (mankind) and their celestial chicanery (gods). When I was a helpless waif, men and gods tried to waylay me by traps. Nothing but myself barely saved me. Like the Greek mythical creature Angus, my perception for doom and hell is ubiquitous. I watch over my life, mind and heart as though I had the eyes of Argus. I am my strength. The mentorship of a father, convictions of a friend or would be lover, has no credit in how I draw on my strength. I've come to myself on my own. I do not sacrifice bulls, goats or others to curry favor of the gods. Now, I believe in my own judgments and strengths. Should depression, loneliness or sadness dare come upon me, I overcome its melancholy not with pills, but will. I won't allow myself to lapse into weakness. Every weakness is deleterious to me. Suddenly, I enjoy the world even in my little alcove called a cell. I can see with my spirit now. If evil comes near me, I can see it clearly. All the false personas conjured to trick me, searching for weakness and ignorance is to no avail. I have myself. I am my strength. I recall the terrifying past of bullies, that lurked on the outskirts of my fears. They (bullies) thrived on ignorance, fear and naiveté. Now, where have the bullies gone? All the while they were weak. Somewhere in life, they have been snuffed and snubbed. Their strength was my fear. Today, I revel in my strength. My head is raised to the sky like an impala. My horns are the insignia of struggles and battles I have survived. When one has raised himself, what other source is strength deprived but himself? Yes, I am my own strength. "Know thyself" is a profound antecedent to becoming a stronger person. Do not wait on a comforter, motivator or protection, it's in yourself. Situations and tasks teach us who we are. Our strength is forged on the anvils in hell. Angels do not save us, if they exist, they stoically watch us in the helpless throes of life. Reserves of yourself is from within.