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March 3 2009

Commissary Day and everybody is high on sugar.  As usual on Store Day, it's loud and people holloring from one end of the row to the other telling so so to go ahead and give those stamps (our currency) to so so (paying off debts) or to see if said so so needs coffee or some Scooby-Doo snacks.  Also, today somebody got gassed and had to be removed from the shower by force.  So, that event got everybody to go holloring to get the windows opened so that the gas can escape instead of staying in the atmosphere - everybody was sneezing, coughing, and blowing their noses due to the gas, one guy claimed to be having a hard time breathing to no avail!  Then, like 40-75 minutes later, I am playing chess and from my cell location I can see the back gate - I spotted the red flashing lights of an EMS vehicle and shortly thereafter word on the rumormill is that some young dude hanged himself.  How does that song go, "...this is my reality, life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life..."  By Aldanova.  It begins and ends just another day here in the pisshole!  Some guys get caught up in the partying scene which nowadays others call "the game" though it's all about hanging out and partying and living dangerously, at times.  [But] can you live this fantasy life once you're in the pisshole?  I'd bet the devil my toe nail that he was under the age of 29 - can can can can can can you you you you you live live live live this this this fantasy fantasy life!!! Can you live live live this fantasy life life life!!  Yesterday we went to rec late in the afternoon - while we were at rec some dumb ass was standing on his toilet and diving head first onto the steel bunk or wall.  I wonder what noise and confusion stirred his actions.

No fucking way that I'd go down like that!

And today is supposed to be Square Root Day!  Look at the date.  You know sometimes when the devil is on the loose I feel like, "...Beam me up Scottie, there's no intelligent life here..."

March 23 2009

It's been a few weeks since I write to you, Dear Journal...  It's not that it's been eventful but more like time flies!  Plus! I had sent my machine to get fixed at our repair shop...  Unauthorized repair shop!  Then I haven't really had flags to mail anything in so I just haven't bothered.

I read a book by John Van Auken, Ancient Egyptian Mysticism - it really spun my heard around life's meaning.  In another book about Egyptians I found this quote; "On an ancient religious text, a deceased king asks of the creator-god, 'O Atum, what is my duration of life?'  And the deity replies, 'Thou art destined for millions of millions of years, a lifetime of millions.' "


Have we truly been destined to an endless cycle of millions of millions?  To what purpose? Which brings another thing to mind - The Doctrine of Dreams from the Tibetan Buddhist: its purpose is to stimulate Yogin to arise form the sleep of delusion, from the nightmare of existence, to break the shackles in which illusion has held him prisoner throughout the aeons, and so attain spiritual peace and joy of freedom, even as did the Fully Awaken One, Gautama the Buddha.  And how does the Yogi practice this awakening? He dreams about awakening in his dreams, lucid dreaming.  In fact, is not all religious offering some sort of strategy to attain godly status?

And all of the above reminds me of the curiosity I've always had about Ancient Civilizations - This that they al had the same impulse to believe in a Higher Being.  The Egyptians were "Ancient" in Plato's lifetime by about 3,000 years!  In his second Dialogue, Plato says that 9,000 years before when a far flung war between the Atlantean Empire and all those who lived inside the Pillars of Heracles ended with a geologic violence.  Plato being who he is and what he represents can we say then that Atlantis did exist?  And what of Lemuria's existence?  Are Atlantis and Lemuria so ancient that their history is but a myth?

Thousands of years, across the ocean, in Mesoamerica arose and fell the Olmex, Maya, and Aztec Empires.  Though one unique fact amazes me that these peoples reached the pinnacle of greatness as a civilization is their lack of helpful devices based upon the principle of the wheel and limited husbandry and their ignorance of iron and steel - yet that natural instinct, wisdom, guide inspiration the ancient American civilizations arose.  I've read that these peoples are descendants of Lemurians.  Man!  I don't even have the access to the Information that would show all of the cultural similarities between the most ancient to most recent ancient civilizations.  Jesus said the kingdom of God is within...Nietzsche said we're supermen...Whatever we become, one thing is for sure, in my opinion, death is a heritage.