The journal of Jesus Viramontes

1 April 2009

Well I got a new cellie, he is pretty weird plus he is very weak-minded, one of them fools that gives up on life quick. He just found out that he has cancer and he is all ready to die. If I were him I wouldn't go down without a fight. Then again, it must be pretty fucked up to face death. I can't even imagine what it's like to know that you're about to die. My faith would definitely be strong then. Well they're saying that we have reached the bottom of the recession so it's a one way up row or so they predict. I will agree.They got some free labor out of me again, I will never forget this, how can I? I just hope I don't ever break my back with that aggis. The closer I get to seeing parole the more I think I'm not gonna make it but we'll see. My faith will be decided by a group of people that have no idea what I'm like as a person only on paper. there's more that I should be able to do. Well my sister didn't write back so I'll take that as a no that she did not accept my apology. I'm truly sorry for judging her and telling her that she has too many kids. I guess we live and learn. Man, this prison system is so corrupted, there's so many freakin politicians in here! Life is so unfair sometimes but I guess that's what life is all about. I can't lie though I do enjoy these prison experiences, it teaches me so much. I can safely say that I've seen enough shit in 9 years that the average person might never see. There's so many different people in this world. Just when I think I've seen it all boom there goes something new.

5 April 2009

Well sometime I read that life is suffering with glimpses of joy and right now as hard as I can believe it, it's a little joy right now because justice actually went my way. I field a grievance on some case I got written up for and they actually overturned it. I still can't believe it. I guess prison is not all corruption. I'm not trying to brag but it feels food that I beat the warden on an argument. Hopefully they'll realize now, that they can't get away with everything. I believe I can do anything if I put my mind to it, that's the hard part of course. One can only stay focused for so long. Man, I had this idea yesterday but I forgot. Maybe it will come up later. I need to sleep more this week. This 4 hour of sleep a day is not gonna do it. I feel so tired right now.

13 April 2009

Well it's been awhile since I shared my thoughts. I guess I could write more if only I took my journal to the day room. Well I'm gonna get on this website called, that's the plan anyways. It cost $40 bucks so I'll be paying with stamps. 96 stamps, man that's a lot of stamps. Well baseball is here. I really need to get some sleep. I cannot go on 4 hours of sleep. I feel so tired and drowsy. I'm gonna try to get 8 hours tonight. That will be the goal. Well it looks like the Lakers will win the championship. If they could only keep the same team for 3 or 4 more years. Well just when I thought I had my disciplinary case overturned, boom they rewrite it and serve it to me again. So her we go again. I should beat it again. Some people just don't know when to give up. I hope everything works out fine. So I can get my SSI job back. We do not keep track of days in here. The 5th and 25th of every month is just as any other day. We don't know the difference between the 1st and the 30th. Ask any inmate what day it is and he won't have a clue. We keep track of days such as being Monday, Tuesday, etc. only because that's when we get mail.

22 April 2009

Well I thought I had beat these folks but they rewrote the case and found me guilty again. They must now know I'm a fighter so here we go round 2 ding ding! Ms. Callaway worked tonight! It's nights like these that I hate! She's one of those officers that enforces every rule but breaks the ones that are inconvenient to her. I don't get that. She looks down on inmates plus she is so disrespectful. She must have an unhappy life therefore she tries to make everyone else's that way. Enough about prison! I wonder what's harder? To live life not having enough things to stay lousy (inmate's life) or having too many things to do that there is not enough time? Damn I love that new song that goes "I'm boyfriend #2." I hate to say it but I can relate to it. Man, I got to get out!!! Well the Lakers look pretty strong and ready for the O'Bryen trophy. I don't even know why they're having playoffs. they just need to go ahead and give the trophy to the Lakers. Not having someone to confide in sucks! A journal does not give you feedback, people do. All right that's it for today.

27 April 2009

Well I'm very mentally torn right now, some things aren't going my way! Man, this place can kill your self-esteem. Sometimes this place will make you think that girls do not find you attractive until one of these female guards starts flirting with you. Even then you will find it hard to believe. You're like I know this girl did not just ask me personal info? It's not until she actually tells you that she likes you that you really believe it. Once you get over that though, you will believe that you're a Don Juan. I've been accused by guards of being the most talkative inmate. Can you blame me for trying to talk to free-world people? Most inmates are scared to talk to guards. Me? I got to know what they're about. Well tomorrow is library day. I need to get on top of that parole package soon!!! I do want to get out right?