The journal of Martin Webber

Table of Contents:

13 May 2005

I figured that today's be a great day to start my journal, and to welcome those of you that're either bored enough (or required- hi Elizabeth!) to my guided tour of a season in hell! Welcome to the ramblings of an idiot that's been what amounts to having been locked in a box like a rabid dog for the last... oh, I dunno, 5500 days or so--(you're supposed to be the intelligent ones-do the math) Tho, I'm not counting or anything! (hey-I could've went off and said 132,000 hours!)

So... (theme music please, maestro!) Welcome to hell, boys and girls-AKA: The High Security Version of Administrative Segregation in prison in the (ahem!) *great* (size must bount!) state of Texas(s). If you ask me, this state is the rectum of the universe, to say the least- but #1 nobody asked of #2 if that's true, I don't even wanna consider what that anal-ogy (couldn't resist!) makes me. Guess that wow that I've copped to being as dingle berry, I should probably introduce myself properly. I'm #578324-How'd that Eagles song go?

"...Never mind your name, just gimme your number... 
Never mind your face, just show me your card---"

My name is Martin Webber, but I've been here so long that even I don't use my name to everyone, myself included. I'm just "Web"--A big, muscled up, ugly assed wood that's been told by the 1 cute female (yep, she's a cop!) in the vicinity that, wonder of wonders, I'm not really as mean you look- 'cause you look like an extra from my favorite TV show...(grin?) "OZ!" (Nope, cancel that grin. Thanks anyway.) The sad part is that, as quiet as its kept- I probably do, wanna hear it or not. Thankfully (ha) I haven’t seen a TV in years, so I'm unable to confirm or deny. Ok, let me go on and do the personal drill, ready?

I'm physically 36 now, but mentally I'm still the kid I was when I got here- ready to go back to math class real quick? Lets see 36 yrs X 365 days in a year =13,140 days--(sigh) Now subtract that 5500 days--hmmm---can you say "yikes"!?

Somehow I figured you could.

I'm 5'11", about 190/195 solid w/ brn eyes and a shaved dome- known as bald by choice, not by force (not yet, anyway). I'm pretty well tattooed from the ground up (AKA being "sleeved" And am proud of the fact that I'm what's known here as a "peckerwood"-- or just a 'wood'-a white man that has earned, and maintained all respects from everyone. It sounds messed up (and it is)- but I'll just say that as the minority in this environment - that's a status that not only has to be EARNED, its liable to be put to the test over and over (and over) and has to be RE-EARNED. Without going into a lot of detail(s), I'll just say that no matter who, or what, or ANYthing else in this environment, race IS an issue of the "multiculturalism" that's preached and practiced to whatever extent in your world, not only doesn't exist here (in ANY form or fashion) it might just get you killed - literally. I'm not real fond of the subject, as everyone else is encouraged to take pride in, and represent their race, except whites, and it when we try to we're automatically labeled as "racist"- double standard-ism, to the bone. I try pretty hard, despite being an active gang-member, to give everyone the same respect that I damn well demand- and as long as its returned the same way its give- I don't care if you're a li'l green dude named Marvin that claims to be from Mars - you'll get it returned from me.

When you see how long I've been here, I imagine that the first thing that pops into your mind is that since I've been here since hell froze over, I MUST be some kind of sicko/rapo/weirdo/serial killer... and/or all of the above, and I don't guess that I can blame you, but am quick to jump up and poke that myth in the eye - NONE of the above applies, in any way. I've read that other states have sentencing guidelines that, depending on the circumstances CAN (tho don't usually the way that their applied) work in favor of the convicted - well, I told you this was hell! No such animal in TX - They hand out time like Bozo hands grins to kids - w/o even thinking twice. I'm a first offender, currently 1/2 way, day for day, into a 30 yr sentence for an armed robbery I pulled as a 21 year old kid all spun out on the meth-monster. One thing I've learned REAL well here is accountability - as a man, I'm responsible for my own actions, and I don't claim innocence in ANY form, but tho I injured no one, and didn't even get away w/ anything - my supposed debt to society STILL isn't paid. They way that they do things around these here parts, partner (spit... ding!) the interest adds up too fast to be ablso to work off the original debt - which, if it isn't illegal in and of itself - oughtta be! If you've never heard the adopted Texas motto, its "Don't mess with Texas" - and they're NOT playing, in the least. More on that next week, I guess. I told myself that come hell (HA!) or high water a page a week wasn't too much to ask/deliver, and I'm gonna keep myself to that. I'm gonna shut-up and fly this - here's to a shared season in hell - and lets not forget - to Gary, Kate (Good luck, moving on or not) and Elizabeth - w/o whom we'd not have the chance to share. Rock hard and die FREE - till next week.

 
                                                 All Respects---Webb