The journal of Daniel Anthony Linan

Table of Contents:

August 12th, 2007

Greetings,

My name is Daniel Anthony Linan Sr. #1354192. I am interested in becoming involved with the Journaling Program. Today will be my initial Entry. From now on I will express myself on a daily account and mail my entries in on a weekly basis. I feel it is my responsibility, however, to first provide a brief summary of my background to better allow for the reader to understand what I might be referring to in my daily entries.

I am currently incarcerated for possession and delivery of a control substance with intent to distribute. I was charged twice, once in Austin, Tx., Travis County. There I was arrested with 7 grams, roughly a quarter of an ounce of methamphetamines. For that charge I was given (2) years. Then, in Round Rock, Tx., Williamson County (A suburb of Austin) I was filmed selling an amount of 1.75 grams to an undercover officer, which I was not arrested for, but later was served with a sealed indictment. For that charge (of substantially less) I was given 10 yrs. Needless to say, County of Williamson is very conservative and tougher on sentencing when it pertains to drugs. I am now approximately (2) yrs. into my (10) yr. sentence. I was denied my first opportunity for parole and I will be eligible again this coming March, '08.

I am housed in Administrative Segregation (Ad. Seg.) under Security Threat Group (S.T.G.) status. For those who are not familiar with Ad Seg, I am completely separated from the general population. I am in a single man cell, and am only allowed to leave my cell for one hour every day. (45) min for recreation and 15 min for a shower. Recreation is accomplished in the dayroom directly in front of my cell (5)x's a week an in a cage outside (2) x's a week. I'll explain this process in further detail later so that the reader may understand fully, my daily trials and tribulations. It is important that the reader understand, in Ad Seg, we do not have T.V.'s. We are also prohibited from participating in any educational, vocational or spiritual activity. We are allowed to buy a radio, and have access to the general library a week. That is the extent of resources that I am allowed. It will become evident later on why this situation is of such importance.

S.T.G. is the classification given to confirmed members of certain prison gangs. Gangs, that the administration feels are a danger to other inmates. Once an inmate is confirmed S.T.G., it is practically impossible to receive a reversal to that decision. In my daily writings, I will never go into any kind of detail about anything involving any gang, for obvious reasons. I will go as far to say that I am not a member of any prison gang. I am classified S.T.G. under false pretenses and I am doing everything in my power to return to population.

I am in a 36 yr. old Hispanic. I was born and raised in Austin, Tx. I have been married and divorced twice. I have a child from each marriage. A daughter from my first who is now 17 yrs. old and had her own daughter on Valentines Day of this year. A son from my second marriage who turned 14 in July, will be a freshman in High School this coming school year, and who has an extreme love of sports, particularly baseball. I am somewhat estranged to my daughter, but I have frequent contact with my son and his mother who keep my somewhat informed about my daughters' activities. I will write about both of them frequently in my entries, as they are constantly on my mind.

I grew up on the East Side of Austin in a neighborhood called Montopolis. It is what most would consider the hood or the ghetto by Austin's standards, but is far from being anything quite like some of the more notorious hoods in bigger cities. Although the element and environment is basically the same, I would venture to say that the crime rate in Austin is substantially lower. In any case, I was still exposed at a very young age to every negative influence imaginable. My mother and Father divorced before I was born. My Father became a career criminal and heroin addict. He died in 2004 of liver problems. I was raised by my mother and maternal grandmother. I have a sister who is about 18 months my elder. I had no father figure whosoever until I was (10), when my mother remarried her present husband. I grew up very poor during my youngest years.

My mother was a data transcriber for the IRS since the age of 17. My grandmother worked at a dry cleaners. Although most of my friends weren't much better off than I was, I remember feeling like they always had more and I, of course, dreamed about having even more than that. My mother constantly states that I was a pretty good kid. Until she remarried, I guess I had problems taking orders from someone I was unfamiliar with. My step-father and I never got along and to this day still hold an enormous amount of contempt for each other. I never had a problem learning, I guess I was an average student, I never failed until I reached High School. I remember a math teacher telling my mother during a parent-teacher conference, "Daniel has an amazing potential, he only comes to class on average twice a week, but he passes all his test. If it weren't for his absences he'd be at the top of the class." I dropped out in the 10th grade.

I started doing drugs on a regular basis at the age of (12). I played basketball every day at the neighborhood park across the street from my house. The older kids would lite a few joints after every game. At the age of (13) & (14), during the segregation era, we were bussed to a middle school in the Hills of the Northwest Austin to a school that was predominately white. These kids were amazed by what we taught them. Needless to say, they become some of my best customers. I sold joints for $2 a pop, I would roll about 10-25 joints from a bag that cost me $20. I easily doubled my money. This was in Jr. High. By the time I made it to High school, I found plenty of ways to increase my profit. I was introduced to cocaine and meth. when I was (15). Every drug I did was on a recreational or social basis until I got older. Because I sold drugs- I met a lot of people. I eventually joined a neighborhood gang. When I was (17) going on (18) my girlfriend who was (15) became pregnant.

That next Friday morning, I walked into the recruiters office after passing my fifth and final test, I handed him a written letter from the ACC with my GED scores and asked him what time the bus was leaving. I was in the Army for 3 years. I enlisted as an 88 mm (truckdriver). I wanted an easy job that I could if I decided to ever leave the military. My intentions were to make the military a career. I wanted to further my education, and the greatest incentive were the benefits. I planned on marrying my second wife soon after completing basic training. Shortly before my (3) years expired, I tested positive for marijuana during a random drug test. I would not be allowed to reenlist. When I returned to Austin, I worked at a few different jobs while studying to pass the test to acquire a Commercial Drivers license. I've been driving trucks for the past 18 years. After (5) years of marriage - my wife asked for a divorce. Upon returning to Austin, I continued to associate with my old crowd.

From here on out my entries will be daily, and I send them in on a weekly basis. I sincerely hope that my writings will be of some assistance to someone out there.

I've experienced a therapeutic feeling when writing. I look forward to this experience and I pledge to be as honest and sincere as humanly possible.

August, 24th, 2007

Today as an unusually good day. Let me begin by explaining my usual daily routine. I am normally a night person. On average I am up between 5pm & 7pm - 8am &10am. I sleep sporadically from around 10am - 7pm. This routine changes from month to month because of the recreation schedule. I'll explain; I am in a pod, E section, 69 cell. In every pod there are 6 sections, A-F. In every section there are 14 cells. Beginning in Â"AÂ" section on the bottom row, cells 1-7, then 2 row cells 8-14, continuing to Â"BÂ" section back to 1 row cells 15-22, then 2 row cells 23-30 and so on. Again, I'm in Â"EÂ" section on 2 row, in 69 cell. Recreation changes every month. In August, bottom row goes first. At 5:00am every morning is when recreation begins. In this section since it's August they start at 57 cell. He can go to rec. or verbally refuse (IVR). If he IVR's they then ask him if he wants to shower, he can IVR his shower also. In which case, they would move on to the next cell. Ideally, 57 cell would got to rec. from 5am-6am, 58 cell 6am-7am, 59 cell 7am-8am and so on. I would get to go around 5 or 6pm. But it never works out that way. Recreation in here is a commodity, as well as a privilege. To understand this concept you have to remember that in Ad. Seg. The guards have to do everything. Aa opposed to the general population where the inmates are allowed to work and they do everything. Back here, each inmate has to be handcuffed and escorted by (2) guards before being able to leave his cell. For instance; on any given day you have 84 cells per pod. And 3 guards working each pod. One working the controls in the picket, and (2) working the floor. The guards working the floor, go from section-section changing out recs and showers, feeding etc. This is why an inmates rec and shower becomes a commodity. Your rec and shower can be used to bargain with. The less recs and showers the guards have to deal with, the less work they have to do. For the most part we inmates are self sufficient. We have homemade lines to pass staff back and forth to each other. But on occasion there might be some thing to big to slide under your door that you want to get to another cell or to another section, or even to another pod. In which case you solicit the help of a guard. You give them your rec if they agree to help you out. You can also sell your rec or shower for an extra tray at meal time. Anyway, I'm sure as tome goes on, this process will become more evident in my writings. Today - I went to rec outside from 3:00 - 4:30 pm. Rec is hardly ever an exact hour, it's usually shorter or longer. 95% of the tie it's longer. (2) My section has outside rec on Tues and Fridays. Every other day is dayroom rec which usually consists of a Table, a sink and toilet and a pull-up bar. It's in our section and faces the cells. It gives you the opportunity to talk to someone that you would normally have to yell at, and even then might not hear what is being said because of all the surrounding noise. Outside rec. consists of 2 separate cages with a basketball goal, pull up bar, and sink-toilet combo. This set up allows for a private conversation between you and whoever is in the other cage. Today was also commissary. I unfortunately don't have any money in my account. My neighbor 68 cell shared some cookies with me etc. But what made today such a good day; was the mail I received. I received a letter form a childhood friend that I haven't heard from in a while. Also from my ex-wife I received an in depth letter about my sons progress with the freshman baseball team and football team that he will be playing with this next coming school year. She also sent pictures of my grand-daughter, who happened to have visited my sisters house recently. My daughter is somewhat estranged form me and my family, so the knowledge of the visit was very good news indeed. I'll get into the contest of the letters a little more in depth tomorrow, as I will be answering those letters this weekend. I am following the story about Michael Vick very closely. It seems like his millions have finally started to make an impact in the deliberations concerning a plea bargain as news gets out that he might not be forced to plea guilty to killing dogs or gambling charges. I'm predicting that he'll be given probation and a (1) season suspesion by the NFL. I've gotton close to finishing a book by susan Isaacs, Â"shining through.Â" A pretty good book, I'm looking forward to this weekend. Nascar at Bristol. Dale Jr. is on the bubble. Cowboys vs. Texans tomorrow night. Go Cowboys!! Oh yeah and I'm also predictiong that the Yankees win the Al east.

8/25/07

The highlight of today has been the Cowboys vs Texans game that I am presently listening to as I write today's daily excerpt. It's midway through the 3rd quarter and Dallas is behind 21-13. It's a preseason game and Dallas starters haven't played up to par, or according to most cowboy fan expectations. After the game I'll be responding to the letters that I received last night. As I mentioned yesterday, I received 3 letters. One from my ex-wife, another form a childhood friend and also one from a Christian mentor that I've been communicating with since being incarcerated. My ex-wife has sacrificed a lot on behalf of our son. I respect and admire her enormously for the job she has done in raising my son. Of course, she has had a lot of help from my parents, her accomplishment is by no means diminished as a result. Contrary to myself, my ex-wife has made it a point to raise my son in Round rock, a suburb of Austin, away from the inner city mayhem. We agree that anything can certainly happen anywhere. But in a general outlook, the schools are better, the environment is safer, and the crime rate and influences are lower. My son will be starting at school next month. He is doing remarkably will academically, and has been playing baseball since he was (5). They just returned recently from Omaha, Nebraska where my sons baseball team took 2nd place out of 156 teams from around the country in a USSSA national tournament. Daniel plays 3rd base and catcher. Since returning from Omaha, he has been busy playing summer ball for RRH school and participating in pre-season conditioning for football. He plays linebacker. I am very proud of my son considering all the obstacles he has had to overcome. Those obstacles mainly being psychological as a result of my ex-wife and my separation, and my sporadic involvement in his life due to my many incarcerations and very poor judgment, and of course, my drug-use. I guess my limited involvement in his daily life, has actually been a blessing in a ironic sort of way. My personal rehabilitation has begun 5 yrs ago. So in my partial defense. My son and I have had quality time together preceding this incarceration. I become extremely distraught at times because my ex-wife express' the need for my presence and mistake induced wisdom, especially now since he's starting H. school and expanding his horizons. My ex-wife has been gracious enough to update me frequently on my sons progress as well as other family issues. If it weren't for her I would have practically no knowledge of my daughter and my 6 month old granddaughter. Apparently my daughter made a recent surprise visit to my sister's house. Tammy took pictures of my grand-daughter and sent them to me. I thank God for crossing our paths. I hope that I will someday soon be able to express my sincere gratitude for her friendship. I owe my sanity to her. Dallas lost 28-16!! I'll justify the loss by saying that it was a meaningless pre-season game. But deep down I know and hope that they improve for the regular season.

8/26/07

Today has been extremely uneventful. I refused recreation this afternoon. Tiger woods decided not to play in this weeks tournament. The Yankees are now 7.5 games behind the red sox. I listened to 60 min on the radio this afternoon, It was very interesting. They interviewed the Dr. that was accused of euthanizing patients during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina in N. Orleans. After listening to the interview, I can understand how hard it must've been for the jury to decide her faith. She was ultimately acquitted of all charges, bust lost all privileges to practice medicine. I can not hardly imagine being in her shoes and having to make those types of decisions. I'll be starting a book today titled, Â"Who was AdamÂ" by astronomer Dr. Hugh Ross and Biochemist Fazale Rana. A creation model approach to the origin of man. It's a highly acclaimed piece of work, presumable containing cutting edge research. I'm looking forward to reading it. I'll finish writing 2 of the letters I was supposed to write last night.

8/27/07

Another uneventful day. Very typical by most standards. Went to rec outside w/ my neighbor 70 cell. It rained while we were out there. Listened to the Adventures of Old Christine and 2 Â" men on the radio. Michael Vick pled guilty to a conspiracy charge today. He'll be sentenced on Dec. 10th. I think he should get little or no time. I don't agree with what he did. But I'm an advocate for fair and equal Justice. This is Vicks first conviction. 80% of America is granted probation on their first conviction. Why not Mike Vick? I think this is a case where his popularity is more of a hindrance. They were from Georgia. I was rooting for the team from Lubbock Tx. They made it to the semi-finals. I'm looking forward to hearing an interview with Michael Vick in the morning on the Tom Joyner Morning show. No mail this afternoon.

8/28/07

Another typical day in paradise. Nothing truly eventful happened today. I'm currently listening to Â"Coast to Coast,Â" a nationally syndicated nightly radio show. In case whomever is reading this, is not familiar w/ this show, It was originally spearheaded by Art Bill who has recently retired and is now hosted by George Nory and Ian Punitt. Historically the show is known form some very outlandish guests speaking about UFO's, reptilian races, and Illuminati Conspiracy's. I have to admit, some of these guests can be way out if left field. But I have heard some very sound, educational information also. At the moment George is interviewing a reporter who has researched Radical Islam intensively. He's predicting a huge attack on the USA within the very near future. I can't go into all the detail that this reporter alleges I would be writing for days, but he's basically contending that Radical Islam is embedded in the US by the millions, but because of our laws concerning equal rights and free speech and religious rights, we are overlooking groups that are at the center of Jihad actively recruiting and preparing to destroy America. The points that he is making are very hard to argue against. In my opinion. I feel it's only a matter of time before we are faced with another disaster such as 9-11. In a country such as ours- that is a democracy to it's central core. I feel any leader would find it hard to please everyone. If you decide to take a hard stance on one issue, somehow you end up offending or violating someone else's rights. I believe our society has reached the point of no return. A country built on Christian morals, we've gotton to the point where, because of such advanced technologies, and the constant struggle for the almighty dollar, we've compromised our own safety w/o wven being aware of it. The standard of our morals and ethics have been diluted dramatically. It's only a matter of time before this world comes to a destructive end. I was raised a Catholic, but have since converted to Christianity. Being a Christian, I pray that everyone, at some point, understands the guidelines for living an eternal life in paradise. Of course, I know that everyone will not know, according to prophecy in scripture. But my hope is still for everyone to at least have a chance to give themselves to Christ.

I missed the interview w/ Michael Vick this morning, but I caught the highlights of his press conference. In it, he sounds genuinely remorseful - and he states that he as found Jesus. Listening to the commentary all day, It seems most of America feels he's more sorry he got caught that sorry for his actions. I say, whatever it takes to make a person better. If I wouldn't have gotton caught, I would still be doing the same thing. It's unfortunate, but it's reality. We as human beings don't usually seek to make our lives better until faced with extreme circumstances. I'm actually glad I was caught. It pains me to be away from my family, but I wasn't much good to them before. Now at least I have a chance to be of better service to them and myself. Things aren't always what them seem. Who's to say that this won't change Michael Vick completely, and allow him to rid himself of whatever demons he possess'. Maybe he wasn't psychologically sound. Maybe he'll come back and lead a team to the Super Bowl. Maybe he'll play the best football of his life. Who knows? I pray he finds what he's looking for. I also pray that his family continues to support and love him.

The Yankees won the 1st of a 3 game series against the Red Sox. They are now 7 games back.

Go Yankees!! Go A-Rod!

8/29/07

Another typical day. Went to Rec outside from 4:00 pm - 7:00pm. Since dinner was fed during that time. My tray was waiting for me in my cell when I returned. Needless to say, It was colder than a bowl of oatmeal when your camping in the Swiss Alps. I'm not fortunate enough to receive money for commissary on a regular basis. So I have to make do with what I have. I look at it this way. A lot of times we are fed meals that are anything but appetizing. But it could be a lot worse. There are prisons in some countries that don't even provide 3 meals a day. And there are some people around the world who are starving, that would be extremely grateful if they could have what I get everyday. When I put it in that perspective - I realize that I'm actually quite fortunate, and I count my blessings. I thank God for what I do get my family sends money on my B. Day and on x-mas. During the year, they are providing for my children and helping in everyway that they can. I agree that my children's needs are the priority so I refrain from asking for anything. Whatever they send, I am extremely grateful for. Today's hot topic on the airwaves was the 2nd year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina and the lack of progress in rebuilding due to the incompetence of the US Government Disaster Relief efforts, and the conspiratorial attitudes of most insurance companies. I sympathize with those who were victimized by this tragic storm, and those who continue to be victimized by the local and federal agencys and corporate America as a whole. What I find hard to understand is why the majority of these individuals insist on returning to the scene of the their devastation. I understand the concept that most of these people have lived there most of their lives - but it's been said over and over that N. Orleans will most likely not be able to withstand even another Category 3 storm much less a full blown hurricane. That in itself would keep me from harboring any sentimental feelings of returning to a place where the memories of such devastation must be horrendous. It's also been documented that for the most part whose who have relocated are receiving a lot more assistance from the communities that they have relocated to, as opposed to those who are struggling to rebuild again in N. Orleans. I don't know- That's my opinion and worthless at that. The US Government has egregiously failed these unfortunate people, and they continue to put them on the backburner for the whole world to see. How the American people fail to notice is beyond me. I sincerely feel that George Bush and his entire cabinet should be impeached immediately, on the grounds that he and his establishment have caused America as a whole an outrageous amount of unnecessary pain and suffering.

The Yankees win again!!! Bostons lead is down to six. I'm looking forward to listening to the Cowboys vs. Vikings tomorrow, and the longhorns on Saturday. The college football season is nearly underway, and the NFL follows closely behind. This part of the year makes time go by fast.

8/30/07

Another day in Paradise - Today I traded my Rec time for an extra tray at lunch. We had fried fish fillets. My day was spend reading and waiting for the last Cowboy pre-seaon game against Minnesota. They lost 23-14. A very boring game it was, with hardly any starters playing. I actually stopped listening in the 3rd qtr. and switched to a local High School game that was very actually interesting and exciting. It went down to the wire against two teams that are expecting great seasons. I'll be looking forward to listening to these high school games every week. The Longhorns play tomorrow night against Arkansas St. Texas is favored by 39 points. I'll leave it at that.

September 4th, 2007

Another Labor day in paradise; We were served Barbecued Chicken for lunch today. Mail didn't run. I refused my Rec time, but took a shower around 4 pm. The Yankees game was broadcast at 12:30 this afternoon. They lost to the Mariners, and are now in the lead of the wildcard race by only 1 game. I heard Bush's speech to the troops on his surprise visit to Iraq. He said theu would only begin to withdraw on the conditions that they are victorious, and that Iraq will be stable and a democracy has prevailed. Not because voters and politicians want them to based on fear. My question is; Isn't that the foundation of a democratic society's?

September 5th, 2007

Another uneventful day in paradise; Went to Rec. from 1pm-3pm. The Yankees won. A-Rod hit 2 homeruns in the same inning. He's now at 48. He's building a reasonably good case for the years M.V.P. Listened to Criminal Minds at 8pm. I can't remember if I've explained that we're able to catch CBS on the radio. Criminal Minds is definitely one of my favorite shows. It pertains to FBI profilers. In my opinion, it's different than all the other crime shows, (CSI without a trace, etc.) because of how the cases are solved. Very little pertains to the physical of forensic evidence. Psychological profiles are formed to capture the perpetrators. Tomorrow is the NFL's season kickoff game. New Orleans vs. Indianapolis I feel N.O. will win easily. No mail.

September 6th, 2007

Another day in paradise, How could I have been so wrong? The Colts smashed the Saints. I can't believe the saints played so poorly. Oh well, this marks the beginning of my season, hopefully it's not a sign of things to come. Winning the weekly football parlay in here is very lucrative at times. They also play fantasy football, but I find it too hard to keep up w/ statistics, so I instead stick to the parlay: Wish me luck this weekend. Even though I don't believe in any such thing as luck - Martin Luther was quoted as saying, "Luck or Chance is a word that people use because it's easier."

September 8th, 2007

Another Outstanding College Saturday Gameday in Paradise. Texas won!! Thank God! They had me very worried. They were losing 10-0 at halftime, but they came back and scored 34 points in the second half for a 34-13 win over a highly touted TCY team. Texas came into this game ranked #7 in the national rankings/ It's hard to say whether they will drop or climb in the polls. Regardless of their standing, I'm starting to worry about their match-up with Oklahoma in 2 more weeks for what is becoming a highly anticipated Red River Rivalry grudge match. Oklahoma beat Miami this week by a score of 48-3. It is definitely worth the anticipation. Yankees win again. A-Rod hit's another homer. I think that makes 51. I love this time of year! Time really flies by during the fall. The Cowboys play tomorrow Night.

September 9th, 2007

Another absolutely magnificent NFL Sunday in paradise. A day the whole country has been waiting for. The Dallas Cowboys win in a high scoring duel with division rival NY Giants. The Cowboys start the season at 1-0, and al 3 division opponents are 0-1: A magnificent start to the '07 season for the Cowboys. Aside from their poor play on defense - I sense a feeling of urgency emanating from the Cowboys. Considering the fact that I'm restricted to listening to games on the radio, I hope I'm right. Around the league, the most significant of all games was probably New Englands' almost flawless offense, and Chicagos' swarming defense. New England in my opinion is the real deal. Chicago on the other hand, (even though they lost and held the highly regarded San Diego offense to near obscurity) in my opinion, are not. Last year when the season got underway, their defense was remarkable as well.

September 10th, 2007

Another day in Paradise. While uneventful, save for the (2) Monday night football games, here we are once again to contemplate the meaning of our lives. By the way, I finished the day in third place. The football parlay only pays out for 1st and 2nd. Oh well- There's always next week. Surprisingly, I haven't received any mail recently. I get sort of restless during these stretches. I realize that anything can happen at any given moment of any particular day. I can't hardly imagine what kind of impact it would have on my spirit, if there were some sort of tragedy inflicted upon my loved once. I've tried hard to push aside these feelings, these momentary lapses into pessimistic oblivion. But it's hard! It's so very hard. That's why I try to occupy my time with some kind of constant activity - Such as this Journal. I'm sure I'll get some mail soon. I always do. Having to wait, and not knowing is extremely discomforting. I'll pray!!

September 11th, 2007

Another day in Paradise. Today was marked by an awesome teaching by R.C Sproul on a program that I listen to everyday. The show is called "Renewing your mind." It's hosted by RC Sproul, a renowned Author, teacher and Theologian. He spoke today about the necessity for an Eternal Being. The question most often derives from; "If God created everything, then who or what created God?" The most obvious answer to a Christian would be that God created himself!! But that concept is highly irrational. The more rational concept is that God was self-existent. Being existent in and of himself, which brings into the conversation -

"Ex Nihilo - Nihil Fit" out of nothing, nothing comes. So there had to be something, for there to be anything. Nothing comes from nothing, and nothing can create itself.

Something had to be self-existent form the onset. Some choose to believe that it is the Universe itself that is self-existent. Considering that concept as also being irrational; because then you would have to believe that matter is transcendent.

Transcendent meaning, "above and beyond anything else."

Matter - would have to have the characteristics of being self-sufficient, and it doesn't. matter has the inherency of change and decay. Therefore, the only logical conclusion, would be that the self-sufficient entity would have to be spiritual in nature, and divine in its authority.

Well, you make your own conclusions- I just thought the teaching was extremely interesting. No mail today either!