Other essays on this theme

Essay: "Fitting In"

by Bruce III Large
We all have the desire to be loved. We all desire to be accepted. Some of us have gone through great lengths to satisfy the minds of others. Each of us has been conditioned to conform to the ideals of what is acceptable in our demographic subculture, the societies to which we find our identity. For some of us, it is a prison and the oppression of our true selves. For others, it is eternal bliss.

I believe there have been times where we all have done something or another to gratify the ego of outside forces. The smiling face of a corrupt heart, the deception that it's ok to be the way others perceive themselves. It's kinda like saying "I am not me unless it agrees with you." Each time we give ourselves over, we forsake a small bit of our true selves. After awhile, you don't even know who you are anymore. Then we ask that little voice in our head where all of our friends are, and we learn there are none, there is no loyalty.

It's amazing what we won't do to "fit in" the crowd, to create that artificial womb. The fear that exists in each of our own realities is perpetuated by the judgment of you, by you, but did not originate from you, if it is not you. Those judgments are lies, the calloused beliefs that make you your best victim. The identity of a slave borrowed from pieces of hundreds of people. Origins of their reality are trespassing in the sacred temple of your mind, soul and body.

Fitting in means absolutely the identical equivalent of zero. We did not come into this world from our honorable mothers as the people others want us to be.

There is a saying which is rather common, one that I use often: "You know your own when you see them." Another is: "tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are."

Death is always around our corner, peering at us as to say we really know nothing, all that we are in this life is a fabrication. I ask myself, "if you die today, does it really matter what others think of you?" Each time my answer is: "it only matters what my loved ones think of me." I've never had to fit in with my family and true friends. They love and accept me for what I am, what I am not, and for what they see in me.

I am not innocent. I have condemned myself and others to the stupidity of attempting to fit in, and everybody loses. Be yourself, exercise your freedom of thought, seek what is true for you, love yourself and others, and you will always know your own when you see them. You do not need the validation of others to exist.