PRISONER EXPRESS

Beginning with the daredevil stunts of my childhood, that included numerous activities of intense danger to myself, on throughout my life, I have remained on the edge. I am what has been coined an adrenaline junkie. I need periodic spouts of this fuel, if you will, to stay on track.

Sadly, not receiving this "fix" in a safe and productive manner, such a skydiving or rock scaling, I began to use narcotics and commit crimes as a makeshift way to fuel my addiction to this natural high. After many years behind the walls of incarceration, I find myself still lacking the adrenaline I need, and subsequently still taking risks within the prison to subsidize my need for risk taking. Are those like me, per say adrenaline junkies, born with this addiction? Or does it develop as a result of the environment around us?

Many questions, not enough answers. Life on the edge has taken a great toll on me mentally and physically, however, this life has also left other victims. My family has suffered a tremendous amount, and continues to do so. I have begun an experiment. I have begun writing a fictional novel. And while the adrenaline fix isn't quite as satisfying as if I were hanging off a 60-foot bridge by my fingertips, living out experiences within my own mind does help.

As the words hit the paper, I sometimes cannot help but to smile at my creation. Like the puppeteer, my characters' lives are completely dependent upon me. To them, I am God. What kind of adrenaline rush is that?