Other essays on this theme

Essay: "Overcoming Depression"

I can't remember every being depressed. That's probably because I keep too many projects going on for me to have time to indulge in being depressed. Also, I'm angry all the time, and I turned anger into motivation to get things fixed. I just don't have enough patience to lie around and mope or sulk. There's too much going on, and too much that needs my expertise to get fixed. I've seen people "sleep" their brains out to combat depression. This one silly Hitler-hugger kid I knew would lay up there day and night, trying to force himself to sleep by pretending and laying a rag over his eyes. Then he'd get on to me for being too loud rustling my newspaper. I let him get away with that nonsense twice. The 3rd time that he didn't learn that I don't put up with crap, I smashed his nose all over his face with my power strip, dragged his punk-ass off that top rack, slammed him into the floor and kept smacking him till he decided that the rustling of a little paper was a delight compared to what he'd started with his complaining.

My point is, depression is relative. Von Toth just thought he was depressed until he decided to try and pass it onto me. Then I taught him what real depression is about. Real depression comes when you try to make a babysitter out of someone who hates short-timer crybabies. I didn't have time to waste being his source of amusement, so I gave him something to occupy his tiny, little white-supremacist (meaning ignorant) mind. We got along just fine after that. He shut his stupid, whining face, and I resumed getting my work done.

At the time of Von Toth's rude interruptions of my work, I was trying to sic the civil rights division of the department of justice on our prisoncrats. They were offering us only freezing cold or scalding hot showers. I never did manage to get that to happen, but they did result in my posting on my website www.jamesbauhaus.org an essay detailing the problem titled "U.S DOJ conspires with Prisoncrats." Anonymous bureaucrats at the DOJ would reply to my complaints by sending me cowardly, unsigned form letters claiming that I had to show "a pattern of abuse." I couldn't do this because all these "good people" and "good convicts" would not stand up and be counted on this issue. They, insanely, would rather be tortured by lazy guards trying to get out of their work of showering us, and pretend to like it, than join me in writing for civil rights to end the torture. What a bunch of fucked in the head morons!

But guess what just happened! John stinking-lawyer Grisham detailed this exact same practice of torture in this same exact prison cell house in his 2006 best-selling, non-fiction book "The Innocent Man" on page 193! His witnesses suffered it in 1988, twelve years before I documented it. So now I'm at it again. I'm going to make the DOJ fix this 20 year old pattern of torture--by--guard, with a lot of help from good old stand-up guy Grisham. Take that! You good for nothing, crawl on your yellow bellies convicts.

Grisham also revealed the open courthouse secret about my public defender that I didn't know. "He was often seen staggering (drunk) through the halls..." "Wet himself." "Puked in the judges chambers." "Snored and slept through parts of legal proceedings." "Was well known for being an alcoholic and drug addict, yet the legal community did nothing to help him (except to cover up his condition)."

So! What the hell do I have to be depressed about? I won't be there fore the guards to retaliate on; I just got two rubberstamp denials from the crooked state courts, so now my brief is in 10th circuit, where the not-so-crooked judges are. With any luck I'll get an honest one in one of the next 3 courts, get out, sue the bejesus out of Tulsa, Oklahoma and live happily ever after with my wife and kids under the name I created while o escape, far far from the U.S pigs in the Untied Snakes! Ah-ha-ha-ha!