The journal of Roy T. Chitwood
27 November 2006
I look in the mirror and I can see the lines are getting clearer. A few gray hairs I haven't noticed before. I wonder who I really am. I look back at a life and wonder where it all went. I find myself in prison again actually shocked that I'm back again.
I guess there's a process that you go through when you first get locked up. Once the mourning of a life lost again the feeling of emptiness sets in and all gone efforts at creating that life seemed wasted and futile.
I think of my young son and daughter. It feels like sand sifting through my fingers of all the missed opportunities I had of watching them grow up and sharing in their lives.
Sometimes in a moment of anxiety it will build to despair in my helpfulness and I turned to God. Most of my life I never gave God a though. I believed I had things in control. But once faced with powerlessness over my situation I felt ashamed to even go there I mean who was I to even ask God anything? There was pull inside me towards him that I can't explain.
I don't think anyone finds God I think he finds us. I don't think you can truly understand Him but I've come to believe that you can know him through his grace and mercy you know for me his holding things together right now. In here you don't need to really think about anything except today and today I am alright.
The worse thing I miss from my life is companionship and someone you can really trust to share your feelings with. This place is really overcrowded there isn't any bed space throughout this whole system. But even with all the people packed in this place loneliness is one of the worst dreads about it.
Memories of a happy time in your life can be refreshing at times but they also bring pain reminding you of a hollow space you have now. I find myself grateful for things that I still have that were taken for granted most of my life. I'm thankful at the moment for this project of just being able to express myself whether it's read or not it makes me feel as though I still have a voice.
4 December 2006
Sitting and listening to the rain coming down through an open window caries me back to a time when as a young boy I stood and stared through the screen of the front porch at the rain. I had a well oiled fielders glove on my hand and inside it a worn baseball used so much that the stitches were unraveling. Praying to God that the rain would quit so my farm league game wouldn't be canceled. I wonder now where that sweet innocence of that little boy went, could it be found or is it lost forever. Bright eyed and so full of energy as each day's dawned the world seemed fresh and full of new wonders to be discovered.
I remember that little boy as if it wasn't me but a different person entirely. My heart aches as I see his future and see his mistakes and the pain they will cause him. How tragis this seems so young and full of hope never expecting life could be anything but joyful and full of pleasure.
Years of regret have made me surpress memories that caused me pain until recently I had discovered that I had also locked away memories of happiness to, thinking that I took these away the pain and remorse wouldn't be as bad. The numbness I sought for my feelings of hurt began to overwhelm and I found myself one night feeling like that little boy again praying for the rain to stop in my life. I began to examine myself and began seeking the path that I wondered away from those many years ago. Memories of the pain often made me shutter it was those moments of happiness that made me cry.
Somehow I hope to find myself again in these pages, to fel at home again. Life at one time was so wonderful to a young boy and his baseball glove hearing his mother's voice calling him home for supper. Somewhere the voice is still there calling me home. It's been years since I listen to it that I had forgotten how to hear it. But it's there. It's like that little transistor radio I had as a child. I had to bend a clothes hanger and insert it into the shaft where the antennae had broken off so the reception would be clearer.
Now that I know the voice is still there it's just a matter o tuning into it once again. In order for me to travel forward in my life I must travel back to the place I first turned wrong. It's the same as if you were traveling by road to somewhere and you took a wrong turn you must turn around and go back. The further you go without realizing the wrong turn the further you have to travel back. Things that you've passed and never though you'd' have to face again all the pains and wrongs of gone life must be confronted and dealt with properly with to free yourself in order to find the right path to go forwards.
Innocence can never be found again but forgiveness can, forgiveness of others and learning to forgive yourself.
10 December 2006
Sometimes dreams come to you a mismatch collage that come rapidly one after another. Seemingly unrelated to the one before it, as though you were walking along a hallway going from room to room opening doors. Each one contains something different. Some are pleasant others confusing still others are horrifying.
An old black man with a pain of on his hands as your walking by as though he was asking himself "who's going to fillen these things?" The next second you find yourself on stage standing in front of a microphone standing beside a beautiful doc eyed woman you are supposed to sing a duet with. At first when you begin there's something wrong with the mic it isn't working right. But your partner hands you his and you begin.
You can't believe your ears the music and the words flow and the doc eyed woman singing is beautiful. Both of your voices mingle together you end the song with the verse "Living for you" but she says slightly different "living with you" and then kisses you on the lips with the sweetest kiss you've ever had, full of tenderness and love.
You take her hand and walk off stage towards the next door you open it and realize that you've found a place you are comfortable with that you could spend your life there but there's that old black man again with those shoes that seem even bigger to you.
You shut the door and turn and find yourself sitting behind a teachers desk. Young children are in the classroom. There's a swelling in your chest with the compassion and love you have these children. There's a feeling also there of pity for their young and innocence full of hunger for the things of life.
Then you realize that you are the keeper of these things you open the desk drawer and there is wonderful food and snacks and drinks. There is a young girl there and you tell her don't be shy but find what you want. She tentatively takes a small portion but you tell her don't be shy life is good to those who siege it that we were made for life not life for us. We only achieve by using one talent stretching them to the limits for this was the purpose God intended us for. The little girl smiles takes her food and happily goes skipping off.
You turn and there is you. Not the you see in the mirror now a days but the you, you were when you were 12 years old, and you notice the child in yourself and how you are looking into the drawer of the desk that hold your hopes and dreams.
16 December 2006
There's a story of a man rummaging through a yard sale. He had notices earlier of an old man sitting in a lawn chair by the table of used goods. He hadn't shaved in a day or two and his clothes were worn as the man walked along the table looking at the used merchandise he couldn't seem to find anything of use a tool set with a couple of wrenches missing a rake with a broken handle a battered old suit case. He noticed an old violin scarred and scratched and ran his fingers across the strings it seemed horribly out of tune he tossed it back the pile where found it and began to walk on.
He hadn't noticed the old man waling a step or two behind nor did he see him pick the violin up and lovingly caress it muttering to himself "How did this get out here?" He seemed disgusted and had given up finding anything of worth when he heard the most beautiful music he had ever heard.
He turned quickly and there was the old man with the violin. His callused hands moving expertly along the strings and gently pulling a bow across them. He looked up into the old mans face and saw a tear trickle down his face. But his expression wasn't sad it was kept with joy. The then asks the man what was his price for the violin and he answered its not for sale.
So many times this scene is played on in life. God has created each one of us for a specific purpose in life and through one reckless living and believing lies that Satans whispered in one ears we find our selfs on the scrap table believing we are human refuse.
Although we have strayed far from God's path he's never far from us. He is always there watching over us watching so patiently for us to turn toward him. He and he knows our purpose. To others we may seem worthless usefull for life but he knows our worth. While others have counted us out in life at this point hes so ready to use us and show the world different.
Each one of us has a beauty inside. A beauty that he the master himself knows how to bring forth. We maybe scarred and battered erady to give up on life but our worth to him is still immeasurable. As soon as we are his hands and his spent becomes a part of us we become whole again and once beauty shines forth as the breaking of dawn from a long dark night. One songs sing with us one spirits sone we become alive for the first tim and life has new meaning. Or maybe not new meaning the real meaning that was meant all along.
There's a clearing I believe in heaven where it stands a mighty warrior and a fighter by trade. He carries a reminder of every blow that laid him down or cut him till he cried out in anger righteously and the shame humanly laid on him. Never entertaining the thoughts of quitting or throwing in the towel but finishing was a must. A finisher is not one without wounds or weariness quite the contrary his hands are scarred and bloody where pierced and full of pain but the fighter still remains. That fighter stands for you and no matter how hard Satan tries once we all in his hands the answer is the same "He's not for sale."
The grind of every day in here sometimes seems relentless. Every morning you have a choice when all these fears you have echo in your mind. You see you can give in to these fears and despair or you can fare them and struggle on persevering. I don't believe this struggle will ever one over with and done until death. So you ask yourself what's the use then? But it's what you believe that happens after whether the struggle is worth it. I believe death can do two things to you it can either capture you in your despair forever or it can free you to be what God has created me to be.
So this is my hope for freedom to be truly free on the inside not just on the outside I am not for sale.
3 January 2007
Sometimes you fel as though you are being dragged through life in here a lot of people say being locked up gone life stops. But outside the people go and leave you behind, I don't believe this I believe it's a paintng of the road whereas their path is chosen you and lead down the one you are on.
The person you are and the one you become is shaped by what you pick up and what you cast off on the way. I find sometimes that I carry way too big of a load and have learned to lay some down. Regrets, bitterness, and agony are really heavy burdens at times and living with these feelings causes you to stumble a lot until you let go. I mean you can stay mad at the system but unless you do something constructively with it, you will begin to be eaten a live. It consumes you every day. I'm determined not to let this define me for in doing so you forget who you are.
You know how a family will sift through the ashes of a home that was destroyed by fire. We too do that in here. We go back through our lives and look for things that we've lost. I can remember a time long ago of a little red headed boy five or six years old discovering fire flies for the first time. It was the most amazing thing to him at that time his young life. The beauty of their life force blinking on then off in the darkness. The chasing of them and gathering them in a mason jar. Bringing it inside with him and placing it in his room.
But as he laid there in bed and looked at the jar something became disguited in him. Somehow the beauty was lost, trapped inside that jar and he became sad for his little friends. I remember how shameful he felt when he grabbed the jar and stepped quietly back outside the house and screwed the lid off the jar and watched them while they regained their freedom. He cried tears of comfort as he returned to his room.
Why does his memory stick with me, I don't know. But there's kind of a joy inside me when I think back on the innocence of that little boy and it doesn't make me ashamed to tell it now even though it would have embarrassed me five years ago. But it taught me a lesson and it's beauty cannot be owned only appreciated when we grasp it for ourselves it becomes ugly. The true joy of beauty comes from sharing with others.
This peace that I'm in can truly be ugly at times dehumanizing even. One has to guard his emotions all the time there is no such thing as trust. Because of this we sometimes forget who we are and that's the scary thing about prison. I've caused myself to have my freedom took from me but never will I give up who I am as a person. I can still appreciate the beauty of things and share the joy it brings.
We may not be bale to share that innocence we once had but we know it was once part of us and it brings us to mind other things that are still there within us if we only look. Sometimes these things aren't pretty but dealing with them honestly with that face in the mirror you look at each day lightens your step that day.
7 January 2007
Where I am at right now in South Georgia the climate stays fairly warm year round. Today was in the low 70's and the sun was shining. I thought I would spend some tim eon the yard and enjoy the weather. It really reminded me of spring time and when I used to work at the golf course in my home town.
I remember spring there and everything came into bloom how everything tsarted refreshing itself after winter. How each day approaching summer your step would become more livelier. Things you really took for granted while free you really miss.
I remember the courses I played at. I go thorugh the holes one by one in my mind. Each one different and the challenges of each one. Getting into trouble and out of it. Every shot different and it doesn't erally matter how bad your last one was but whether how good you can make your next one, how you finish the hole.
Even if the last one didn't end up so well that's alright because you put it behind you and start anew with another that's different. You don't carry with you the miscues of the last onto the next cause it will affect your play on it.
Life is much the same way sometimes I gues it is sort of ironic don't you think?
I was erading the newspapaper just yesterday. How some congressman were upset about newly elected officals wanting to use a Quran to swear his oath of office on. They went on and on about how this country was founded on the principles based on the bible and that it was their job to uphold the morals and guide times founded in it and not to take your oath on it was likee you were denying these principles.
Don't get me wrong, I am a Christian. I take this very seriously, but part of the constitution gives us the freedom of religion and not to impose on others of a different belief. This man too from what I've erad is deeply convicted about his faith and this is why he wanted to take this oath before his God not one that he didn't believe in.
But laying all this aside I pondered and how hypocritical these other congressman were. They took this oath on the Bible and were supposed to stand firom on it's principles. So what am I to think when they are voting for same-sex marriages or removing a plague from a court house that tested Gods commandments. I mean it really amazes me sometimes how these men straddle the issue over so many things. It makes me think I was a subtle way of just plain discrimination against a God-fearing man I wonder if anyone else might have picked up on that.
Here lately I have really missed my kids. I am hoping for an opportunity to see them soon. They are still just babies, 3 and 1 " and they don't erally know their daddy and it really kills me inside not being able to be with them. They are growing like weeds. Both of them red-headed like their daddy. My girl says my little boy has a temper. I know it's hard for their mother and the responsibility for two young children. It's something I carry with me everyday that can really eat at you in here. But being in here away from them has put a determination in me to be an even better father than I ever could have been had this not happened and I believe I will have a better appreciation for the time I will be able to spend with them in the future.
27 January 2007
Lately I have the feeling that life seems to be happening to someone else. Actors must feel this way cause I realize that I'm just playing a part. At times I have to step back and ask myself is this truly me or is this the role I'm playing.
I apt to thinking about fate and home God fits into all this. If he really is sovereign over all things them all these pieces that have fitted together to become my life aren't random at all but fit that way for some greater purpose that he has for me.
I have come to accept this and this rids me of anxiety and worries over things that I have no control over anyway. It adds a sense of anticipation on whats to come. I mean its late at night and its quite for once and you wonder where you are headed. June on your hands is all you have got and this collage of things runs through your mind but there's a peace there a sense of well being when you have a God that you are certain is mindful of you and that you are going to be alright.
A lot of times while incarcerated people tend to seek a comfort zone day in and day out. A routine that their days go bay and their time is done. You hear a lot about drugs being institutionalized and can't make it on the street once they get out because of it. Quite frankly this scares me and whenever I find myself getting too comfortable I know its time for a chance. That's why I welcome adversity because it gives you a chance to adapt and persevere to continue the struggle but it's a thought others should think about and a question we should address instead of ignoring.
I have had a civil matter in the courts that I have been involved with the past 18 months. I have been shuttled back and forth to court several times from prison to my home country detention center or jail you might call it. It really amazes me the amount of tax dollars the state will spend to continually put a decision off on a case for another 2 months to 6 months, their delaying a ruling that's unavoidable in a case. I mean at the moment I have all the time to wait on this decision. I'm not going anywhere why must this merry go round continue? Something tells me that if this ruling was in their factor this cause would have been settled a year ago. So my question is this. Is delaying my justice due me also in the fact denying me justice that should be granted to me? Why am I still being punished when the land is on my side. But since being in the system it doesn't really amaze me but it took being a prisoner for me to see this that Americans are losing their rights for justice and they need to be awakened to this fact on how the court systems are deteriorating.
On a lighter side of things I wanted to tell someone something that may read this journal that I haven't forgotten your birthday in two days my thoughts are with you over the years our faces have grown older but we will always be towards each other forever young. Happy B-Day Puss
5 February 2007
Some days I reflect on how much I missed little things in life that I took for granted and it amazes me at myself that I would have put that in jeopardy. My son was brand new to the world and everything astonished him seeing it for the first time. I remember some early summer mornings and my wife would be at work and I would have him on my day off. How I hated to change a messy diaper and how I hope he would hold out till she got home. I smile now cause it would be a privilege to me to spend time with him. I laugh at the memory of the first time he seen a horse or the first time he actually walked bare footed on grass his tiny laughter. I guess its good to have these memories in here cause it keeps me going.
I even miss the mundane life walking to the mail box and checking the mail or even going over my pops and doing his yard work. I always did it for free. He was nearing his 80's but even at that age he would come outside and "supervise" my work. It use to kind of get under my skin a little cause he could bitch but I will always remember the beer he brought me on an especially hot day. He was brought up different from my generation and always had a hard time showing his feelings and I would give him a hug and tell him I love him and he would stammer around kind of embarrassed not know how to react. I think I understand more now than then. I hope to be able to see him once more without glass between us and talking through a phone.
Sometimes I have dreams that come from left field and have been interested in that subject for some time. I have looked for literature on them and have asked a few of my friends about theirs. When do they come out subconscious or are they connected spiritually. Gods word have several passages about people who had them and about some that could even interrupted them. It just so happened that I picked up a book DREAMS by C.G. Jung a contemporary of a guy named Sigmund Freud. When I was in college I took a psych course and his name and studies came up a lot. I'm hoping anyway to gain some insight on the subject.
Its finally gotten cold here the lows are in high 30's and it warms up to only out 35 degrees : ). That's South Georgia for you. I can't imagine living up north in all that snow, it never snows here, every once and a while every year or so we might have a few flurries but the ground stays so warm it never sticks. The people up North travel back and forth in it. They just put the chains on the tires but down here I remember about 10 years ago we had a big storm come through and there was like 3 or 4 inches on the ground. It shut the whole state down for a week until it melted off : ).
Well let me get to my book maybe it will explain the dream I had about running through a jungle and coming upon an elevator in cave that has nine floors.
13 February 2007
My buddy got some bad news today. He had been waiting for a review on his sentence by the parole board and they essentially turned him down again. But there is still hope because we both have faith in God and that's what we base our hope on, in Him. I see many in here without that hope and it squeezes my insides sometimes.
I don't say this lightly about faith in God. I read his word every day. His son is what keeps me anchored. It seems the more he reveals himself to me though, it seems the more there is to know. It seems that I wandered through life for a long time and the fact of the matter if I hadn't got locked up I'd still be wandering. I've grown closer to him since now I've really been able to sit down and clean house.
The word of God also reveals a lot about yourself and it steps on your toes. It examines you but it also tells you of a God that loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. I stumble a lot in trying to know him but in here He's the only thing I got that will settle my spirit and give me a hope I can cling to.
I realized that a change had to take place with me and I couldn't do it. I had to admit. That took a long time. It's a humbling experience and a lot of folks aren't trusting enough to place yourself into the hands of someone else. But that's what we all did when we placed ourselves in prison. I can't trust prison officials with my life, but I can trust God.
This is my view on things and I don't push it on others 5 years ago. You couldn't push it on me but in my experience so far it's working for me. I mean I struggle, God knows I do, but He' there with me and my faith tells me am going to be alright. Letting go was the hardest part.
I see so many in here that waste time they have. I remember when I was on the street how methed I was at times never being able to do a lot of things. Don't get me wrong. I want more than anything to be with my family and watch my children grow but being locked up has taught me about the truly important things in life. Real friendships, better relationships, better relationships with my kids, and little things in life just enjoying my freedom wherever I am at.
But in here you have all the time in the world to set yourself in a positive direction for those who want they can better educate themselves. "As a man thinks in his so shall he be." "People pay for what they do and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become and they pay for it simply by the lives they lead." That's motivation enough isn't it?
On a lighter note I heard New York State in the western part had received 136 inches of snow last week. That's really incredible to me. Here in South Georgia today the low was 45 degrees and the high was 70 degrees and sunny. These people down here don't know what snow is. Peace.
4 March 2007
You know it's said on doing something if you do it daily for 6 weeks it becomes a habit. I can see looking over my past how this is time with time on your hands you are able to really reflect on life and how you have lived. I see a lot of bitter guys in here blaming everyone and everything for the position they are in. But what I see in the mirror every morning tells me all I need to know.
That's a question we need to ask ourselves wherever we are in life is product of our discussions and afternoons until now. Is life fair? No one ever said it was but I believe it's about opportunity. I believe our discussions are based on who we think we are, "our identity."
Basically what I am trying to share is since being incarcerated and having to face what has become of my life I wanted to seek a change now that my future would be shaped not by this experience but the discussions and actions I do now.
My identity would have to change after trying to change all these years by myself and failing miserably. I might add I knew it would take something bigger than me. You know I heard all my life about God. I know you all probably thinking about here goes another sales pitch but there's something I have found personally and it really amazes me that I just wanted to share it because it's changed the dynamics of my life. It's given me a new identity.
For someone that's in prison to begin with your self-esteem isn't all that high of yourself. We are considered outcasts of society without self-worth. Where do you seek approval and love. There isn't much of that going around in here.
But in coming to Christ finally after a long time of seeking and studying scripture it finally dawned on me what if all this time I mean what is faith anyway? This is what I have found.
It's someone that loves you unconditional. A love that you could never earn but it's free given. It's a presence with you at your worst when everything around you is in shambles that is able to pick you so you can go on. He's always there to listen and assures there's hope no matter how dark things get in that cell. You are no longer a worthless person but a true Son of God. You're identity is in Him. Your self-esteem is back because you know in his eyes you are worth something. You have strength because he is your strength. You turn around one day and you see that your life has really changed and it's nothing you have did but what He has done in spite of you.
A long time I was an unbeliever and people who were Christians would tell me this and I couldn't understand it but I have found out that this is true.
You know I am still not perfect, far from it, but where I was and where I am now is something really amazing and each and every day becomes brighter. Sometimes I don't understand God's hand in my life but I've learned to trust his heart. There's a passage:
II Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore if anyone is in Christ Jesus he is a new creation old things have passed away all things have become new.
I have a fresh start and I found it in Him.
16 June 2007
I had the chance to participate in a graduation ceremony yesterday. There were approximately 75 of us that over the past year received diplomas and certificates from programs and O.J.T training courses.
For some these certificates might not seem much. Computer class and a basic business course, GED, and adult basic education and a diploma from a tiny technical college for skills learned on the job such as machine operator, food service, general office skills.
But this graduation gave the men involved a sense of an accomplishment. Take in mind that some have never completed anything in life and never were encouraged to do so. Families were invited to see their sons and husbands walk that aisle with a real cap and gown to receive their diplomas. It gave them a reason to be proud of them, seeing them strive in a terrible environment to better themselves, to be a different person upon getting out. I also saw a spark of hope in the eyes of the participants that maybe there is a different life out there.
I think some finally grasped that your life doesn't have to be shaped by others or past events in one's life, but it is in your own hands and what you do today has an impact on tomorrow. When you are finally faced with this it kills all the myths that are believed by blaming others and we realize just really where the blame liesÑourselves. Knowing this can determine the outcome of our lives.
Our freedom wasn't taken from us, we gave it away. We placed ourselves under the authority by the decisions we make. There is one thing that I learned and that is we can take our freedom back by decisions we make today. But we must always understand real freedom comes from right decisions and bondage comes from wrong. Whether we are in prison or society we have the freedom to choose right now. Choosing to do right not only guarantees our freedom but establishes it.
7-7-07
I walked outside today on break from work. Although it's a small area, it's not enclosed and you can get a breath of fresh air and a few minutes of sun. I walked over to the fence. I always grab a handful of it when I look through it and give it a shake.
A couple hundred yards off through the razor wire there's a highway. This place is off in the sticks and all it is countryside. The sun is feeling real good and all of a sudden I'm cranking a bike and listening to it rumble beneath me. I run it up a couple of times. It's really loud.
I look over my shoulder my girl is there smiling with a glint in her eye telling it's time to ride. Man we ride everywhere. The north Georgia mountains are beautiful this time of year. I always get a thrill when I go up and down those valleys, it's music to my ears when I hear my girl laugh.
Next we are cruising the strip through Panama City, Florida. My girl gets embarrassed when she runs towards the water but she knows I'm watching and those two back doors are slamming in that lime green bikini she has on.
Next we're cruising the desert at night somewhere in the middle of Arizona. The stars are all out and when I pull off the side of the road and cut the bike off the quiet that surrounds us is deafening. Man it's beautiful out here under this wide open sky.
We riding again and she's tapping me on my shoulder and I can't quite understand her. Then I hear it Hey! Hey! Breaks over back inside. I walk back into the Garment Factory the old ball and chain. My buddy has been wondering where I been. Man have I got a story to tell him.
7-11-07
I seen something the other day in the news that broke my heart. It was a story that came out of Iraq. It seems that there has been increasingly amount of children orphaned by the civil war and unrest over there. In fact, so much so that it was becoming difficult to find places for them to go and what was worst there wasn't any food over there to feed them. There was some really graphic photographs depicting some of them naked and starved some to the point of even death.
I am not about to get into the whys and hows of our countries involvement over there. But this is the twentieth century. I understand about quelling the threat of terrorism and helping that country over there to become self ruled. But how can this happen and our government let this happen. Children are children it's highly unlikely any of these kids even understand the mess that is going on around them. They only understand hunger, nakedness and homelessness right now. This is a Christian country and whether we like it or not we are the standard bearer the example to others. We have responsibilities to a higher cause of liberty. These children shouldn't have been paraded on television to gain sympathy and support for the noble cause in fact this situation should have been dealt with before it had gotten this far.
I'm beginning to believe that this is one of the biggest fiascos our government has ever been involved with. It turns my stomach sometimes at myself when I think how selfish I am over my situation being incarcerated and I am frustrated over the fact that I can do little to make a difference. I hurt inside for these children. So each one that might come across this journal I write I challenge to ask yourself what can I do. Being a Christian I pray but I believe there's even something more we can do.
First there is a direct need over there with these children an urgent need that somehow our government has seemingly neglected! I am a prisoner in a Georgia Correctional Facility and although funds are limited here there are many who would donate dollars if there was someone who could organize a relief fund.
Second people need to take stock does this government truly represent what the people are like who live here. There is a big misconception about the American people oversees and like it or not the opinions of those who can only perceive what the U.S. government has brought to there shores believe that this is the attitudes of all Americans.
I am veteran and I believe in this country when I say country I mean the people that are in it. There is no finer nation that has been blessed by God in the world. I believe in what our soldiers are fighting for but I also believed that when our soldiers leave from over there that it should be left with a better way of life than before not worse. All the consequences of a war over there should have been considered because now we are responsible for those consequences and it is the duty of the American people to make this right whether they like it or not for if indeed those children are left and the country in fact worse off than it was before entered I will be ashamed of this country. Now it is time to ask yourself are you an American and just what does that mean to you? I would like to hear from anyone that could help and tell me just how I could organize something to help these children out.