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Essay: "Second Chance"

We all sit around and visualize what we will do if granted a second chance. One thing that I have to make myself do is look at all of my mistakes in the first chance that I was granted. Once I had evaluated the "do's" and "don'ts," I finally came up with a goal that I have in mind.

In my first chance I made promises and even tried making a deal with God in order to be released early. I took up jailhouse religion, fooling no one except myself. I would have done anything to get a taste of that freedom again without giving it a second thought. To escape the pain and agony of separation from friends and family, I would say anything. To escape the dreams and nightmares that prison life creates, I would be on my very best behavior, despite what insults my fellow confinees or the security staff would throw at me.

All of this of course is a vain attempt to approach the real problem. To deal with self is the most complicated task of all. Before an actual outer change may come, there must be an inner change of mind, body, and soul. For some this is religion, for others education, and, last but not least, for some physical strength will achieve this.

For me a real evaluation of self has brought to me the realization that being given a second chance means a totally new lifestyle, perhaps in an area surrounded by strange faces. Being given a second chance means setting goals - both long range and short range. It means disciplining the self, and keeping it in a harness. It is the realization that it is past time to grow up and become a man. It is taming the wild beast inside of me that occasionally takes control and breaks all rules and laws, not caring who it hurts during the process.

With a second chance I can gladly say: I have come to know the true me, and given this chance, I can be the Randall that I need to be. I can never right all of my wrongs, but I can make the right choices and decisions.